Contending & Self Talk

Sometimes in the course of life, a word drops into my spirit. If I didn't know any better, I would say it came from out of nowhere - but I know better. It is the voice of the Holy Spirit gently nudging me into a revelation. I have learned over the years to not ignore these subtle prompts, as they inevitably lead me to a deeper understanding of what He is wanting to accomplish in and through me.

It seems that much of my communication with God lately ends up with me in tears. Sometimes they are accompanied by the overwhelming sense of His presence and love for me (which I still cannot and probably will never come anywhere near comprehending). More often than not though, lately the accompanying cry of my heart sounds something like this: "I don't understand. I don't understand why everything has to be such a struggle. All I have ever wanted is to love You and serve You and walk in the center of Your will. Why is it always such a struggle just to make ends meet? How can this be Your will for Your children? Am I missing something?"

Tonight, as I prayed for David and about our situation in general, I heard the word "contend" being deposited into my spirit. I knew the general idea behind the meaning of the word, but here is what I found when I looked it up:

con·tend [kuh n-tend]  verb

1. To struggle in opposition: to contend with the enemy for control

2. To strive in rivalry; compete: to contend for first prize

3. To strive in debate; dispute earnestly: to contend against falsehood

Origin: 1400-50 late Middle English contenden < Anglo-French contendre < Latin contendere to compete, strive,  draw tight; equivalent to con (con) + tendere (to stretch)

I was immediately struck by the realization that all three meanings have a clear application in the walk of the believer. 

1. To struggle in opposition with the enemy for control 

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."  Ephesians 6:12-13

2. To strive in rivalry (compete) for first prize

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever."  1 Corinthians 9:24-25

3. To strive in debate (dispute earnestly) against falsehood

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  John 8:32

Even in the word's earliest origins, it meant to stretch or draw tight. As we reach what feels like the breaking point, where we don't think or feel like we can take another minute of our current situation, the Holy Spirit gently prods, "Contend." 

The last dime has been spent and the pantry and refrigerator are near empty, "Contend."

Bills are due and past due and there is no money to pay them. "Contend."

Physical strength wanes and sickness sets in. There is no money for medicine. "Contend."

Fill in the blank with the circumstance that makes every attempt to steal your hope, your joy, your peace. "Contend."

Sometimes we have to talk ourselves into continuing on - into not giving up. It worked for King David. He asked himself why he was so downcast and commanded himself to put his hope in God. Following the example of one whom God Himself called a man after His own heart, I will now excuse myself to engage in a little Psalm 42-43 style conversation with myself.

And contend.

 

No More Bodies

Several bodies have been found near water in the past several weeks in the Austin area - at least one a week. Another one was in the news this morning. I do not think this is a coincidence.

Ezekiel 47 speaks of life-giving water flowing out from the sanctuary to the surrounding area. This fresh water changes its environment, even transforming the Dead Sea into a place where life thrives. Only the stagnant waters of the swamps and marshes remain unaffected.

The natural world we see around us often reflects what is happening in the spiritual realm; I believe this trail of bodies is not to be overlooked by God's people. It is a picture of those who come to a place of refreshing only to come face-to-face with death itself - and in most (if not all) of the recent deaths in the local news, they have died alone.

So here is what I am asking: Is this a reflection of the unintended affect the Church has had on the world around us as we have directed our attention and resources on building mini-empires and internal programs? Have we failed to effectively carry the water of life that flows from the throne to those who need it the most?  Have we become stagnant swamps, unaffected by the living water that passes us by on its way to bring hope, healing and restoration where it is needed, carried by those who dare to break free from "church as usual" and follow the persistent urging of the Spirit of God who still hovers over the face of the deep?

Ezekiel clearly describes a steady stream of life-giving water (we are the water) that comes out from the sanctuary (God's presence)  that flows so freely that it restores life wherever it goes. Multitudes of fish of every kind (all kinds of people from different backgrounds) live in these waters. Trees on both banks bear fruit monthly (not just seasonally) and bear lasting fruit that never fails (discipleship) and leaves that do not wither and provide healing (regenerating resurrection power).

This is the mission of the Church. It is what we must aspire to be - a conduit of the presence of the Most High that pours out from inside the walls that would contain it into the world around us with such volume that it becomes a river no one can cross. 

Until life flourishes and no more bodies are found along our banks...

Treating Spiritual Dehydration

I recently saw a show on public television about a climber who was stuck on a mountain after an accident left him with a broken leg. Severely dehydrated, freezing, weak and exhausted, he slowly made his way down the mountain, mostly by sitting and dragging himself down - a process that took days.

During the warmest part of the day, as the sun was melting the snow and ice beneath him, he could often hear water running somewhere below in ice crevices. At some points, it was nearly maddening for him to be able to hear the water he so desperately needed to quench his relentless thirst but be unable to see it or reach it.

Finally, he came across a tiny crack in the rock where water was trickling out. He laid down and put his face to the ground, licking the water directly off the rock. He found a way to dig around the rock and create a small pool where the water could gather, and he lapped up the life-restoring flow until he could hold no more.

"As I drank, I could feel my strength returning to me," he said, "and I knew I would be able to finish this journey and make it the rest of the way down."

When a body is dehydrated, organs do not function properly. Strength is sapped, and it is difficult to concentrate or think clearly.

So it is with the spirit. Our spirit can become severely dehydrated, causing various aspects of our lives to not function properly. Our strength is depleted and we find ourselves struggling for clarity and direction, seemingly unable to do anything more than keep breathing and getting through each day, much less living in any kind of victory.

"This is my comfort and consolation in my affliction: 

that Your word has revived me and given me life."

~ Psalm 119:50 (Amplified)

I could not help but remember what this climber said about his strength returning to him as he drank when I (a few days later) was spending a little time in the Psalms before bed. As I read, the words that I needed to hear poured into my spirit bringing comfort, direction and hope. I felt my spirit being renewed and refreshed - I felt my strength returning.

The Word of God is filled with what we need not only to sustain, but to thrive. Our spirits are designed to be fueled by His word and His presence. Nothing else can replace these two things in our lives. There is no shortage of counterfeit things that will try to take the place of God's word and His presence, but they can never satisfy our thirst for Him - it is not possible. This is by design.

And so, dear reader, be encouraged with this - make time to spend with God as often as possible. Soak in His presence and let His word wash over you. Here in the flow of these ancient words of life, we find healing, strength, hope, peace, joy, clarity and so much more. Here is where we are renewed, refreshed and recharged, not only for our own benefit, but also for the benefit of those around us.

"Jesus stood and shouted to the crowds, 

'Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! 

For the Scriptures declare, "Rivers of living water will flow from his heart."'"

~ John 7:38 (The Message) 

 

From Dry Bones to Living, Breathing Destinies

From my journal dated 3.11.12

Sitting at a picnic table facing what used to be part of Lake Travis. What my eyes behold now is a dry riverbed with barren boat docks, the kind that used to be floating on top of several feet of water. Now they are merely forlorn shells, reminiscent of what once was.

Last year's record drought wreaked havoc on the lakes of Central Texas, particularly Lake Travis. Even with the steady rains we have had in recent weeks, the lakes are still many, many feet below normal, and the driest parts still hold no water at all. Only Go knows if it will ever be normal again, ,and if so, when and what it will take to get there.

As I sit and stare at a dry riverbed and thousands of dry rocks and boulders, I am reminded of Ezekiel and the valley of dry bones (Ezekiel 37). When the Lord asked Ezekiel if the bones could live, he replied, "O Sovereign Lord, You alone know."

As Ezekiel followed the Lord's instructions to prophecy life into those bones what speaks to me is the creative miracle that transpired in front of his eyes.

"I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them.." (v. 8). What had not existed mere seconds before (tendons and flesh) suddenly appeared on the bones (the framework). The tendons and flesh gave substance to each lifeless body.

What happened next is phenomenal in and of itself. The Lord instructed Ezekiel to speak to the breath - calling it from the from the four winds - calling it to breathe on "these slain that they may live."

Like the bones and like the dry lake beds, sometimes we find our dreams, and maybe our hearts, dry and lifeless. But we are not without hope. The dry bones are the framework of our dreams. They give testimony to the fact that something is there - something has potential. The tendons and flesh are what God pulls together to give our destiny substance. They make it real and tangible, giving it a shape and a face.

But until we learn to call forth the breath of life from the four winds and prophesy life into our own destiny, it will remain lifeless and unused. It will resemble an active destiny, but it will remain an empty shell. Only when we fully believe the purpose of our destiny will we speak it into existence - speaking the word of the Lord and calling life into our dreams and our destinies.

A young father and his daughter just passed by on their bicycles. As they rode by, the dad looked down at the lake bed. He pointed out to his daughter, "Hey, there's water down there again."

I take a closer look. It is true. There is water down there again.

A smile emerges across my face.

Ponderings from Near the Altar

Fire on the Altar | March 4, 2012

Fifty hours of non-stop worship and intercession. Thousands of participants. It is the reality that prevailed in Austin this weekend. And I was there, even if but for a few brief hours.

I entered a filled sanctuary and found a spot in the back where I could easily sit, stand, kneel, sway, lay - whatever I felt so inclined to do - without disturbing anyone else.

Here is a brief excerpt from my journal from today:

As I sit on the floor against a back wall, what overwhelms me is the simple and beautiful truth that someone like me - like any one of us -  can walk directly into a place like this where the Holy of Holies is manifest here and now.

No longer is this sweet place reserved only for certain individuals who have met certain criteria. The tangible, aromatic, holy presence of the Almighty is here for all of us. I cannot wrap my head around this, yet I know it to be true, as I am experiencing it even in this moment.

There was a time when someone like me could only get so close to His presence, then someone else would have to go in my behalf. Now, because Jesus has already paid my way in, here I am, sitting at His feet, gazing on His beautiful face. Here I sit - overwhelmed.

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High  

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."

Psalm 91:1

What interests me about this is that I wrote this within just a few minutes of entering the sanctuary. The word aromatic came to me very strongly. Hours later, during a spontaneous song, the lyrics that were coming were something like, 

"I am no longer my own

I am Your garden

Enter Your garden, Lord."

As this was being sung, I began to smell the unmistakable fragrance of roses. At first I thought perhaps someone near me had opened a bottle of rose-scented essential or anointing oil. But as I looked around, I saw that no one was within twenty feet or more of me. I closed my eyes and inhaled. It was undeniable.If a fragrance can be "warm" this one was. It is a word I have often used to describe a physical aroma that sometimes accompanies the presence of God. This time it was the fragrance of roses, appropriately made manifest while we were singing about being His garden. 

I love His presence. Every aspect of it.

More, Lord. More and more and more until ...

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 25 - Unexpected Blessings

I love it when God grants His favor in unexpected ways, times and places. I am never sure why I am the recipient of it, but I am learning to stop questioning it and just bask in it. 

Last night, while leaving the home of my brother-in-law's fiance, I took a nasty little tumble in the driveway. It was dark, and I misread where the edge of the driveway was. My left foot landed solidly in an awkward position in the wrong place, and down I went.

Landing hard first on the front of my right leg, then with both hands hitting the concrete very hard, I knew that bruises and soreness would be inevitable by today. Within minutes of being in the car and on the way home, I was already feeling the effects of my graceful little maneuver. I went to bed sure that today would be a painful one.

Boy, was I wrong. Not only is there no bruising, I was so NOT sore that it was well after noon before I remembered that I had taken my little spill last night, and a quick awareness check revealed that I am not the least bit sore. Cool!

"Father, thank You for Your unexpected blessings. I don't know why we were spared from losing as much others did in the fire this month. I don't know why I am not pumping ibuprofen and soaking in a hot bath with Epsom salts tonight. I don't know why so many little things happen to, through and around me every day that are such beautiful evidences of Your presence in my life. But I am very thankful for all of it.  Help me to be ever-aware of You in every moment. Thank You for staying with me and in me, especially when I don't deserve it. I love You." 

Amen.

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 24 - Quiet Moments

One of my most treasured things is quiet moments. Quiet moments can happen anytime, in unexpected places and can bring with them little revelations and reminders of who I am and why I am here.

Quiet moments sometimes happen on their own. Sometimes they need a little encouragement. Sometimes they require outright planning and protection. Each one is treasured and well worth the momentary sacrifice of whatever else I might be "missing" in order to indulge in them.

Even on a day like today, quiet moments are welcome. Now that I have one in progress, I am going to stop writing about it and go enjoy it.

Happy Thanksgiving, and if you have the opportunity (or have to create one), try to find your own quiet moment today to savor. Enjoy!

The Realm of the Unexpected

As I realize how much time has passed since I last posted, I am reminded of just how quickly life happens when we are looking the other way.

The past few months have seen many changes, not the least of which is David and I being reunited in the same house for the first time since January of last year. The move from Arkansas to Texas was a transition that took longer than either of us had anticipated in terms of our living in separate areas of town while job issues were resolved.

Well, resolution is not fully complete, but thankfully we are back under the same roof. We spent several grueling months trying to purchase a home only to have the financing fall through at the last minute, the result of mishandling by our broker. We decided to find a small and cheap rental to give us some time to regroup, and on April 1, we moved into a small, modest four-plex in an area near one of central Texas' greatest treasures, Lake Travis.

I mentioned "many changes," and while time does not allow me to elaborate on that at the moment, I can say that where I find myself today is working to build a home-based business while also looking for a "real" job to help sustain us financially until the aforementioned business takes off, which I am confident that it eventually will. This process has proven to be a real test of my faith, as we have really had to trust the Lord for His provision during this season of continued transition.

The past couple of weeks have brought me into a realm of renewed closeness with Him as He has once again drawn me into His presence at unexpected times, in unexpected ways and in unexpected places. As I have begun to release my grasp on the circumstances around me and my incessant drive to control them, I have watched His provision come forth in short bursts when I'm least expecting it. My sensitivity to His gentle nudgings is being heightened, as is my awareness of Him throughout the day.

During a recent encounter I had with Him, I tearfully asked Him why He had been so silent lately. He replied that He had been bringing me to a place of total dependence on Him because of what He is about to release me into. The details of this are currently between me and Him, but let me encourage you with this:

If you are feeling isolated and alone in your relationship with Him, and His voice seems distant at best, do not give up. Stay close to Him. Keep pressing your head into His chest. Let go of whatever it is you need to let go of. If you genuinely ask, He will show you - in fact, you probably already know what it is.

Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions. He is not afraid of them, and He will answer them. Most of all, seek wisdom. When you aren't hearing anything regarding where to turn next, His wisdom will guide you, and He promises to give it freely.

Blessings on you and yours. May hope reign in your heart and peace reside in your spirit.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, 

who gives generously to all without finding fault, 

and it will be given to you."

James 1:5

Planning vs. Doing

True confession: I am a planner. To a fault. I plan for all kinds of scenarios. When faced with almost any situation, I picture in my head how it might play out and I plan for how I will respond/react to that outcome. Then I pick another potential outcome and do it all over again.

I plan how certian conversations will go, especially if there is the potential for conflict, and I plan what I will say and how I will say it.

I plan my days, my weeks and my months, knowing full well that life almost always intervenes and throws my planning out the window, but I am compelled to do it again and again.

If anyone ever saw the crazy tangled mess of planning and re-planning and trying to anticipate life and how I will react to it that goes on inside my head on an almost constant basis, I would undoubtedly be quickly committed to the nearest psych ward for evaluation - probably donned in a white "hug-me" jacket that ties in the back just for good measure. I'm not a danger to others,  but to myself - now that's open for debate.

I spend so much time planning and trying to control my little corner of the world that I sometimes neglect to do the doing.

I stumbled across a verse in Psalms this evening, quite the way one stumbles across a boulder in the middle of the sidewalk. Right there, nice and unobtrusively obvious in its placement on the page where my fingers turned and my eyes fell was this little gem:

"Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;"

Wait for it ... wait for it ...

"On that very day their plans come to nothing."   ~ Psalm 146:3-4

Ouch. That hurt. I don't want my plans to come to nothing. If I spend my life planning and not doing, then my life will also come to nothing. Not that planning in itself is a bad thing. It is a necessary part of life. But like anything else, it must be kept in balance and in proper perspective. It is in the doing that we live out what we are designed to do. It is in the being that we discover who we are destined to be.

I want to be close to Him; found faithful; called a friend of God; known by Him; sheltered under the shadow of His wing; someone in whom the love of Jesus is seen and the heartbeat of God is heard.

I want to do the will of my Father who sent me; the work of His hands; that which pleases Him and brings a smile to His face; that which honors His name and causes others to look to Him.

I want to plan my days, my weeks and my months, knowing full well that life almost always intervenes and throws my planning out the window; and that when it does, it is not because I have planned poorly, but rather because I have learned well to listen to the voice of the One who loves me most and am willing to let my plans go as I embrace His.

As I trust in Him with all my heart, leaning not on my own understanding, He will make my paths straight.

Now that's something I can plan on.

Worth For The Soul

The following is an article published in The Town Messenger on December 21, 2010.

Christmas. I love the word and I love the music. I love the sights, the sounds and the smells of this season. I love Christmas. I always have.

What I'm not overly fond of is the insanity that seems to creep in no matter how valiant my effort to keep it at bay. The moment my focus drifted to money and gifts and what is "expected" of me, I was in trouble. Not that buying gifts for family and friends is in itself a bad thing. It just should not (in my opinion), be the primary focus.

This past week has been an unusually emotional one for me as I received some disappointing news. It came on the heels of a very stress-filled series of events that have made the past year one that I will be glad to put behind me. Nothing tragic, just a very long year of difficult circumstances and changes that, when put all together, have taken their toll on my emotional strength.

So, when my disappointing news came the other day, I wallowed around in the mess of it for a while, then sat down at my computer. A friend had posted on her Facebook page a video link of a little girl, seven years of age, singing O Holy Night. I clicked "Play" and was washed away in a river of tears as I was overtaken by the emotional release that only comes when we reach our breaking point and finally lay down that which we have been clinging to, but were never intended to carry in the first place.

Listening to that precious voice singing the familiar words, my self-focused worry and desperation were magnified as my heart threw down the weight I had been carrying and ran to the truth that had been standing firmly in front of me all along.

Long lay the world (me)

In sin and error pining (for things and ideals),

Til He appeared and the soul (mine)

Felt its worth. *

My disappointment was so strong because something I had been longing for was being delayed again, and there was nothing I could do about it. How foolish I had been to allow my heart to chase after something that could so manipulate my emotions and my outlook. Instead, my heart should have been pursuing the One who makes all things new and Who promises to give me the desire of my heart if I delight myself in Him.

My soul does not find its worth in any material thing, circumstance or situation. My soul finds its worth in the appearance of Him, in the tangible presence of the Almighty in my every moment. Why? Because it is for relationship with Him that I was created in the first place. Immanuel, God with us, makes that relationship possible. My surrender to His love makes it a reality.

Life is filled with ups and downs. Some days we laugh, some days we cry. Some days we want to scream and shout, and some days we find our comfort in silence. We will be happy, we will be sad and yes, we will be disappointed. But our disappointment only comes when we put our hope and trust in something that is not meant to carry the weight of such precious cargo. I, for one, must be constantly reminded of this one simple truth:

But seek first His kingdom

and His righteousness,

and all these things will be

given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

In this season, may the true wonder of the Creator of the Universe coming as a baby through the womb of a young virgin Hebrew girl captivate you and pull you into the beauty of His presence. Wise men (and women) still seek Him.

____________________________________________________________________________________

*O Holy Night (Lyrics by Placide Cappeau; Music by Adolphe Adam. Read about the history of this hymn here.

The artist referred to in this article is Rhema Marvanne, now eight years old, from Dallas, Texas. For more on Rhema’s ministry and music, visit RhemaMarvanne.com.

____________________________________________________________________________________

He Loves Me

"How precious to me are your thoughts, God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand—

when I awake, I am still with you."

Psalm 139: 17-18

These words and their meaning overtake me as they roll over in my spirit. As I was out running errands this morning, I was still basking in the glow of an unexpected visitation from my dearest Friend. He had come to me while I was working at my computer. I found myself just sitting here, soaking in an unplanned dousing of His presence.

Later as I sat behind the wheel of my car, He came to me again, as if to say, "I'm not finished with you yet."

In the middle of my crazy busy-ness and determination to mark yet another item off my To-Do List, here is what I heard, "I am so in love with you. You are so beautiful to Me."

Naturally I immediately responded with wordless tears. "I have always loved you. I love watching you. I love the way you belong to Me."

One of the many thoughts that flooded my heart in the nano-seconds that followed was that He always knows exactly what to say - what I need to hear. In a way that only the most attentive Lover ever could, He once again captured my attention and my heart in one moment.

This year has been for me anything but routine. After seven and-a-half years in Arkansas working with an amazing team of people building an outreach church, my husband and I yielded to the undeniable leading of the Lord that it was time for us to return to Austin. David came in January to find work while I stayed in Fort Smith, continuing to work and wrap things up both at my job and the church. At the end of March, I left Fort Smith for Austin.

That was only the beginning of what has developed into one of the most unusual years of my life, but that is a story for another time. One of the many things I have come to understand and embrace on a much deeper level than before is that God is not interested in adhering to routine. Everything about my life this year has been such a departure from normalcy that the comment I most often hear from people is, "I don't know how you do it."

Well, neither do I. Because none of it makes any sense. God will use the foolish things of this world to confound the wise, and what seems to be the most ridiculous course of action is sometimes the only one that will get you where you are going. People used to tell me I was an "outside-the-box thinker." I no longer think outside the box. I live there. The box, if it ever really existed, is just a tiny spec on the horizon in my rear-view mirror.

And through it all, quietly providing a solid foundation on which I can place my trust, is this crazy peace that has come to be a familiar friend. It's the peace that passes understanding, that defies logic and stands as a silent centurion protecting my heart from the sure despair that would overtake me if not for the undeniable presence of the Comforter in every moment.

So here I am, experiencing once again a sense of wonder that in all the crazy, mixed-up stuff that is my life, Someone is thinking of me constantly. He watches me, not waiting for me to mess up, but smitten by the look on my face when He enters the room. The love in His eyes is for me. And no matter how far I step away from "normal," He is still here, walking with me and leading me into Himself.

And tomorrow morning, when I wake up, He will still be here.



The Bigger Picture

Somehow the entire month of August slipped by me without my getting a chance to post. Anything. At all. Thanks to an insanely busy schedule these past few weeks as we have prepared for the start of the football season (we broadcast high school games, among other things - more about that later), I am actually cheating a little on this post.

I'm sharing an article I wrote for The Town Messenger this past week. Here is the article in its entirety, as well as a link to the actual print publication itself. Enjoy.

The Town Messenger Issue 14

The Bigger Picture

by Rachael Wilkins

Life is undoubtedly a crazy maze that can leave you standing dazed and confused about which end is up as you meet yourself coming and going. And that’s on a good day. Despite our best efforts to the contrary, we sometimes find ourselves staring straight into the eyes of circumstances we would have much rather avoided altogether. Good, bad or indifferent, life happens.


I found myself this week sitting across the table at Starbucks from an old friend, someone I have known since the sixth grade. Between the two of us lie some of life’s most heart-breaking tragedies and all the pain that goes along with them; but intertwined are enough laughter, tears, hugs and girl talk to hold it all (and us) together.

As she walks through the process of self-rediscovery after a divorce that left her as a single mom, I am reminded that while I have been feeling sorry for myself in certain areas of my own life lately, there are countless people around me whose lives are being turned upside down. Sometimes I just need to look around a little to be reminded that my little piece of the world is the only piece that revolves around me. I needed to see the bigger picture.

I needed to be brought back to the reality that my life, while far from perfect, is generally good, and that I am wonderfully blessed. It is unbelievably easy in this culture to filter every experience through the mindset of, “What’s in it for me? How does this affect me?”
We have become so finely tuned to approach life through self-indulgence that we don’t even recognize it anymore.


As my long-time friend and I reconnected over cinnamon coffee cake and our favorite fruity beverages, my focus was readjusted to be more in line with what I know to be right. God did not place me here for the sole purpose of getting the most out of life. Does He want us to enjoy the ride? Absolutely. He’s cool that way. But our ultimate destiny is to know Him and to make Him known. And we cannot do that unless we step outside ourselves once in a while and see what is happening around us.

This past week in Hutto, a friend received word that her brother, a Marine, was seriously injured in an incident in Afghanistan that claimed the life of his squad leader. Another family was devastated by a tragic fire that destroyed their home and by the loss of their husband and father. My heart aches for these families and others who are facing life-altering situations like addiction, abuse, jobless-ness, illness and a host of other issues. Sometimes life hurts.

The challenge this week? Take inventory of your blessings and the things and people you can be thankful for. Open your eyes to the life happening outside your own four walls. Find a way to make a positive impact on that life. Take a little time to step back and soak in the bigger picture. With its array of joys, sorrows, hopes, dreams, laughter, tears & fears, life really is a beautiful masterpiece.

I am Certain of This One Thing

Sometimes I feel so close to Jesus that I can almost taste the sweetness in the air as His fragrance seems to permeate the air around me. Other times, I don't feel Him quite so close, but must rely on the simple truth that He is faithful, and that even though I don't "feel" Him, I know He is here. Tonight falls into the latter category.

As I sit here listening over and over again to a couple of songs that are deeply ministering to my dry and thirsty spirit, I am once again overtaken by the immenseness of His love for me. Tears flow readily as I drink in His goodness. I don't know why He loves me so much, nor can I explain why He has chosen me, an immeasurably imperfect vessel, to carry out His kingdom purposes in this generation. But He does, and He has.

So here I sit in a darkened room, with lyrics declaring His faithfulness and music that soothes my soul washing over me like a cool and refreshing waterfall on a steamy Texas summer day.

"All I ever know is Jesus, You are faithful to the end."

These are words I have spoken over and over as I have recounted to wounded women the part of my story that includes a broken marriage and the unbelievably dark clouds that shrouded my heart month after month as I underwent deep emotional healing. In my darkest moments, when I felt completely and utterly alone, the only thing that gave me the strength to draw my next breath was the knowledge that Jesus was faithful. It was the grace that I found woven through the tapestry of my heart through a lifelong love relationship with Him that enabled me to keep going through the process of healing. When I didn't know anything else, I knew the character of my God. I knew He was with me, even though I couldn't always feel Him.

As we face uncertain times and the unrest that naturally accompanies seasons of transition and change, of this one thing I am most certain: Jesus is faithful to the end. He will never leave me or forsake me. He did not bring me here for anything other than His divine plans for me - the plans to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me hope and a future. Of this I am sure. 

Keep standing, dear friend. Don't sit down. That which has been conceived in you is about to be birthed into the glorious fulfillment of the destiny for which you were born. We don't have to understand it all right now. He will reveal all truth to us in His time. Until then, let us remain steadfast, continuously reminding ourselves and one another that He is faithful to the end - that He is faithful to complete the good work that He has begun within us.

"The LORD gives strength to his people; 

the LORD blesses his people with peace."

Psalm 29:11

Divine GPS

I read somewhere recently that trust and understanding rarely accompany one another. Truer words were never spoken.

It seems recently that as I begin to engage in this next chapter of my life, the more I am learning to trust and the less I understand. The simple but deep revelation that is settling into my heart is that if I understood everything, there would be no reason for me to trust.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart 

and lean not on your own understanding."

Proverbs 3:5

This familiar verse has made its way across my path several times in the past few days, and I am learning to slow down and listen when the Lord is trying so persistently to capture my attention. 

When I see these words, one of the first things that comes to my mind is one evening several years ago when I was speaking at a ladies' meeting at church. My message was on trust, and I opened my hardcover Bible to the page where this verse was found. 

As I spoke, I began to casually but carefully tear the page out of my Bible, much to the horror of some of the ladies there. I held the page up and said, "This is my understanding."

I then held up a pen and said, "And this is me."

Holding the page just above the podium, I tried in vain to lean the pen into the page. Needless to say, the very thin paper could not support the weight of the pen, and the pen just kept falling. 

I carefully placed the page back inside the Bible, closed the Book and said, "But watch this. When I submit my understanding to God's and allow His Word and His understanding to surround mine..." I stood the Bible up on the podium and successfully leaned the pen into the Bible, which, of course, was plenty strong to support it. My point was made. 

I still have that Bible, and that page is still folded and rests in its rightful place. It serves as a constant reminder to me of how feeble my understanding is and that my need to fully trust Him is great. 

"In all your ways acknowledge Him, 

and He will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:6

As we encounter the stuff of life that presents itself to us every day, it is the acknowledging of Him that proves to be the greatest challenge. In order for me to acknowledge Him, I have to be still long enough to take my hands off the stuff and what I think the outcome should be and ask Him what His plan is in it. He promises that if we will simply do that, just stop and ask for His direction, He will make the path straight before us. 

It's like a divine GPS navigation system. Only the desired destination (destiny) has already been entered for us. He is giving us the directions. We just have to listen and follow the straight path that He is placing before us. 

The direction I think things are going seems to be changing almost daily, and as the Lord keeps gently reminding me, my security is not in the circumstances that surround me. My security lies in the quiet confidence that I am being closely held in the shadow of the Almighty, nestled safely next to His heart. Here is where I have found my hope.

"In repentance and rest is your salvation,

in quietness and trust is your strength..."

Isaiah 30:15

Transitions

After what seems like an eternity, I am finally sitting down to write again. Not that there has been any lack of material to write about. It's just that sometimes life necessitates that we focus more of our attention on living it than writing about it. Such has been this season for me.

So much of what I see happening around me right now involves transition. It seems that since the last few months of 2009 until now, not a week goes by without someone I know engaging in a change of some kind - new jobs, new homes, new cities, new engagements, new pregnancies. It is no coincidence that the word all of these things have in common is the word "new."

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?"

Isaiah 43:19 

This verse says two things to me:

1. God is fully engaged in an ongoing creative and restorative work in our lives.
2. If we aren't paying attention, we might miss it.

It is so easy to get so intertwined in the stuff of life that we lose sight of who He is, who we are, and why are here.

He is the God of the Universe, the Creator of all that is, the King of all Kings and Lord of all Lords. We are His children, growing up to be His friends, and maturing to become His Bride. We are here simply to know Him and to make Him known to all nations. Oh, and by the way - all nations starts right outside our own front door.

It's the "Do you not perceive it?" part of this verse that grips my heart and causes my gaze to be lifted from the things I clutter my life with to look up into His eyes. It is like He is saying, "Hello? Did you hear anything I just said? Weren't you even paying attention?"

There is a re-positioning happening all around us. God is maneuvering His people into the places and positions we must be in for this next chapter in human history. There is movement in the heavenlies, just as there is movement in the earth. The very foundations of the earth are literally shifting and shaking, causing great destruction on the surface. Minor and major earthquakes are in the news almost daily.

We would be foolish to not recognize this as a physical manifestation of what is also happening in the spirit realm.There is restructuring and movement in the deep spiritual places that will cause great disturbances on the surface of life as we have known it. There are surface issues that need to be shaken apart and broken loose so that true deliverance, restoration and freedom can come.

The questions we must ask ourselves are these:

• Do we perceive it? Are we paying close enough attention to recognize what God is doing?
• Are going to resist the change, go along grudgingly, or fully embrace the new thing He is doing?

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.

 See, I am doing a new thing!
       Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
       I am making a way in the desert
       and streams in the wasteland."

Isaiah 43:18-19

Christmas in the Heart of God

Music from the Heart: Welcome To Our World by Michael W. Smith

It's hard to believe it's been nearly a month since I last posted. Needless to say the past several weeks have been crazy busy, which is why I have had little time so sit down long enough to process a thought, much less write about it. Somehow I have managed to do so today. Right here. Right now.

So here it is, two days after Thanksgiving with Christmas fast approaching, and as usual, my heart longs to make this season linger as long as possible. As much as I love Christmas and all the nostalgia and tradition that accompanies it, there is still a part of me that is saddened a little more every year as I realize that so much of how we celebrate the birth of Jesus really does very little to touch the heart of God. And as the objects of His deepest affection, isn't that what we should be about in everything we do ~ touching His heart?

There is nothing inherently wrong with buying (or making) and exchanging gifts, nor is there anything evil about the parties, cookie exchanges, school and church programs, and other festivities that we engage in to celebrate Christmas.

But as we spend hours standing in lines, baking cookies, and attending all the functions of the season, and while we are doling out hard-earned dollars for gifts, cards, and decorations, may we regain a sense of the purpose for which He came.

"...the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.
       He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
       to proclaim freedom for the captives 

and release from darkness for the prisoners, 

  to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
       and the day of vengeance of our God,
       to comfort all who mourn,

  and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
       to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, 

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
       and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
       They will be called oaks of righteousness,
       a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor."

Isaiah 61:1-3

This is what touches the heart of God. This is why He came here in the first place. This is how we should celebrate His coming ~ to fulfill His purposes in our generation. His plans and purposes have not changed. They remain as they were in the beginning.

"But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, 

the purposes of His heart through all generations."

Psalm 33:11

In The Garden

I've stated in prior posts that I often wake up in the morning with a song in my spirit. This morning, it was the old hymn, "In The Garden."

In April of 1912, hymn-writer C. Austin Miles was alone in the dark room where he kept his photographic equipment and organ. As he opened his Bible, it opened to the 20th chapter of John - the post-resurrection encounter between Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Mr. Miles wrote of a vision he had that day, describing the scene in great detail.  

"My hands were resting on the Bible while I stared at the light blue wall. As the light faded, I seemed to be standing at the entrance of a garden, looking down a gently winding path, shaded by olive branches."

He goes on to share what he saw, ending with:  

"I awakened in sunlight, grip­ping the Bible, with muscles tense and nerves vibrating. Under the inspiration of this vision I wrote as quickly as the words could be formed the poem exactly as it has since appeared. That same evening I wrote the music."

Mary was distraught as she approached the tomb that morning. She so longed to be near to Jesus (even what she expected to be His lifeless body), that she could not even wait until daylight. She went while it was still dark. Seeing the stone removed from the entrance of the tomb, she ran to tell Peter & John that someone had taken His body.

The men came and saw for themselves that He was gone, and they went home. But Mary stayed. 

She was not ready to let go. Her heart was so intertwined with the person of Jesus that she could not bring herself to leave that spot, the last place she had known Him to be. 

After a brief conversation with two angels, Mary is addressed by another man, whom she assumes to be the gardener. She does not recognize Him to be the Lover of her soul. Not yet. But then she heard His voice. He uttered to her a single word, the first word He spoke after being resurrected from the dead (at least as far as we know from Scripture). With the utterance of a single word, Jesus made Himself known to her.

He only said one word. Her name. "Mary," He said.

Immediately Mary recognized His voice and turned to Him. The emotion that must have welled up inside her as she heard that familiar, sweet, comforting, powerful voice call her by name. I imagine that her eyes opened wide and her breath caught in her chest as she realized that it was Him.
 
May we all find the same sweet, intimate and deep relationship with Jesus that Mary had. The kind of relationship where even when we don't recognize Him in the circumstances of our lives, His voice is familiar enough to us that when we hear it, we know it is Him, turning to Him as Mary did.

IN THE GARDEN

by C. Austin Miles

     I come to the garden alone,

While the dew is still on the roses;

And the voice I hear, falling on my ear,

The Son of God discloses.

      

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,

And He tells me I am His own;

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.

      

He speaks, and the sound of His voice

Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,

And the melody that He have to me

Within my heart is ringing.

"The sheep that are My own hear 
and are listening to My voice; 

and I know them, and they follow Me." 

John 10:27 (Amplified)

Distractions & Passions

Music from the Heart: Amazed by The Desperation Band

Lately I feel like my head is going in more directions than it was ever intended to. The challenge is to keep my heart from doing the same.

There is a ceasless flow of things, people and situations that compete for my time, attention, affection, and allegiance. This is the world we live in.

It takes an intentional, focused effort to peel away from the stuff of life to get alone with my own thoughts, much less spend any kind of quality time with the One who loves me most.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength." Sounds easy enough, doesn't it? But what if any part of your heart is chasing after anything but Him, or if any part of your mind is consumed with your own plans, agendas, ideas, or endeavors? How easy does it sound now?

The comfort I find rests in the fact that He knows me intimately. He knows every thought before I think it. He knows every word before I speak it. He sees all my moments, past, present and future, while I see only this one. He loves me in spite of me, and the mind-boggling thing is that He doesn't just love me, He's crazy about me ... and you.

As we go about our days, making plans and doing things, building and ending relationships, gathering stuff, and just living our lives, the entire time, the God of the universe is singing over us. The King of Glory is chasing after our hearts, pursuing our passion with an intense fervor. He is peeking through the lattice, looking on His beloved Bride, just waiting for the moment when His Father says, "She's ready. Go get her and bring her home."

And insane as it sounds, even with this knowledge, it still takes a concentrated, intentional effort for us to pull away and just sit with Him for a little while. The pull of earthly distractions is strong. But our love for Him must be stronger. If it isn't, we are lost.

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.

 You know when I sit and when I rise;
       You perceive my thoughts from afar.

 You discern my going out and my lying down;
       You are familiar with all my ways.

  Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, O LORD.

 You hem me in—behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me.

 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. 

Psalm 139:1-6

The Purest Form of Worship

In the spirit of keeping things simple and getting back to basics, I am not writing a new post this morning. Rather, I am sharing with you something I wrote a couple of months ago. The following a is a brief article I wrote for our worship team's newsletter over the summer. It includes an excerpt from a blog post, "Martha Gets a Time Out."

THE PUREST FORM OF WORSHIP

Mary. That is such a simple, common name for a woman who in one moment quietly made a choice that placed her at the feet of Jesus, and who without a word demonstrated worship in its purest form. Surrounded by things that needed to be done and people who wanted her to do them, Mary set her gaze on the face of Jesus. She sat down on the floor at His feet and listened to Him as He shared His heart. Worship doesn’t get any more simple and pure than that – wordless wonder as we look on His face and listen to His voice.

Much emphasis is placed in most circles on the various forms of worship: singing, dancing, praying, etc… But I believe that worship in its purest form is a matter of the heart. To gaze on the face of the One we adore and be silent as we take in every word that comes from His mouth—that is true worship.

I often find myself so busy with the stuff of life that I fail to spend genuine time at His feet, just me and Him. It’s in these precious moments, no matter when or where they happen, when my gaze is fixed on Him and my heart is tuned into His voice, that my spirit is renewed and my soul restored.

As worshipers we must make these “Mary moments,” as I like to call them, a priority in our every day lives. He is looking for those who will worship Him in spirit and in truth. He is not impressed with our musical abilities—He gave them to us. He is interested in a pure heart that is completely His. Enter in.

Grimy Smudges & Glorious Reality

Music from the Heart: My Heart Your Home by Watermark


"Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you."    -John 15:4 (The Message)



The words of Jesus are are simple, profound, and life-altering. They challenge everything we think we know, and the truth we find in them sets us free from everything that would keep us outside the place He has designed for us to inhabit: a place in Him.

These words are no exception. Jesus Himself has invited us to live in Him - to move in, settle in and make ourselves at home there. We, in all our fumbling, stumbling, bumbling imperfection, have been extended a personal invitation from the King of Glory to come and dwell not only with Him, but IN HIM. He's not worried about us leaving our dirty fingerprints on the walls or grimy smudges on everything we touch. He welcomes it.

He invites us to this place because He loves us. We accept the invitation because we know that no grander opportunity can ever be presented to us - to be welcomed into the heart and home of God Himself as one of His own. He cleans us up, dresses us in fine clothes, gives us His name, and shares with us all that He is and all that He has, holding nothing back.

No more wandering through the dark streets of this life aimless, hopeless, lost and alone. We have been adopted into His family. We have been found and given a home and a hope. We have become the picture of restoration. The Creator of all things has reconciled us to Himself, calling us His own.

If you don't do anything else today, wrap your heart around this glorious reality - you belong to Him and in Him. He belongs to you and in you. Home just took on a whole new meaning.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; 

the old has gone, the new has come! 

All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ 

and gave us the ministry of reconciliation ..."

2 Corinthians 5:17-18