Breaking the Cycle of Pain

I have a Joyce Meyer perpetual calendar on my desk in my home office. As I glanced over to see what today's little mini-devotional was about, I read the following words: Hurting people hurt people.

This is a true statement. When we are hurting, it is much easier for us to ignore the basic needs of others (even those we claim to love), and spew our hurt out onto everything and everyone within shouting distance.

When I hear these words, I am reminded of a time several years ago when a young woman said them to me. She was someone I was very close to. She was like a sister to me. I had poured into her life, and we had shared some wonderful times together in ministry.

But she had entered into a season of rebellion and seemed hell-bent on self-destruction, breaking the hearts of her family and all who knew her. I was at a birthday party one evening, sitting alone on the hearth of the fireplace, not really in much of a party mood. My world was being turned upside down by a husband who had been repeatedly unfaithful and was at that time completely unrepentant.

This young woman I described came and sat down beside me and informed me she was pregnant - the inevitable consequence of her reckless behavior. She went on to describe how she had recently introduced my husband to a young woman at a party for the express purpose of the latter two slipping off into the next room to have sex. My "friend" had actively participated in the assault on my marriage. I was devastated.

When I asked her how she could do that to me, she casually remarked, "Oh well, you know what they say. Hurting people hurt people." Without even an ounce of remorse or regret in her voice, and not even an attempt at an apology, she dropped that little bombshell as an excuse for her behavior and walked off to rejoin the party. She seemed to genuinely believe that her own pain (the ultimate source of which was her own hardened heart) was a legitimate excuse for doing what she did; and furthermore, she seemed to imply that the fact that she, too, was "hurting" should somehow lessen my own pain.

Are you kidding me?

The following year was an emotional roller coaster ride that ultimately crashed head-on into the end of my marriage. Her words and the spirit in which they were offered lingered with me for a long time and became part of what I had to let go of and get healed from. That friendship has never been restored. Sometimes we must let go and leave behind the things that are toxic to our emotional health. It isn't easy, but the resulting peace is worth it.

A Word to the Wise
If you have hurt someone, especially someone you love and/or who loves you, do not offer lame excuses for your behavior. Own it. Confess it. Get it right with God first. Then you will be in a more legitimate place to make it right with the one you have wounded.

If you have been hurt by someone, forgive as quickly as possible, whether or not the offending party has any clue to the damage they have caused. Don't confuse forgiveness with being a doormat for someone who is unrepentant or who obviously has their own issues to work through before they can be a part of a healthy relationship. Establishing healthy boundaries and learning how to gently and lovingly enforce them is one of the most liberating things we can do when we have been hurt.

Don't let your own pain give way to you hurting someone else. When I was going through the unbelievable heartbreak of the last several months of my first marriage, there were times when I wanted to hurt someone - anyone. But the Holy Spirit kept a close rein on me, and I could not lash out. Instead, I experienced some of the most precious times alone with Him as He held me and healed me. The lie is that if you hurt someone else, you will feel better. Don't fall for it. It is a trap. It is what keeps the "hurting people hurt people" cycle moving forward. Stop it.

Happy Endings
God is faithful. After my divorce, I spent a few years getting healed and rediscovering who I was before He brought a wonderful man into my life. My husband, David, and I have been married for over nine years now, and he is the love of my life and has taught me more about unconditional love than I ever imagined possible.

I have also been blessed with a whole circle of girlfriends, some near and some far, who have become to me a sisterhood I treasure and trust. These are women who have seen the good, the bad and the ugly and they love me anyway, and I, them. These are the women I will live next door to in eternity, as we laugh and love and live forever.

As for the young woman, I have not kept up with her personally. What others have shared with me over the years would indicate that she struggled for a long time, well into her own marriage, with conquering the selfish outlook on life that was so destructive when I knew her. My prayer is that she will one day, if she has not already, truly experience the freedom that comes from genuine repentance and true inner healing - the kind that digs deep and draws out the source of the pain and disposes of it. For good.

My first husband has recently taken another bride (his fourth). My sincere prayer is that this marriage will last - that after all these years, perhaps he has finally learned what it means to genuinely love his bride the way Christ loves the church - unselfishly and unconditionally. I pray that his past will not haunt him, and that the peace that passes all understanding will reign in his heart and in their home.

Do hurting people hurt people? Absolutely. But they don't have to. Choose repentance. Choose forgiveness. Choose the hope of a different tomorrow. Cling to Jesus, and He will lead you there.

Divine GPS

I read somewhere recently that trust and understanding rarely accompany one another. Truer words were never spoken.

It seems recently that as I begin to engage in this next chapter of my life, the more I am learning to trust and the less I understand. The simple but deep revelation that is settling into my heart is that if I understood everything, there would be no reason for me to trust.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart 

and lean not on your own understanding."

Proverbs 3:5

This familiar verse has made its way across my path several times in the past few days, and I am learning to slow down and listen when the Lord is trying so persistently to capture my attention. 

When I see these words, one of the first things that comes to my mind is one evening several years ago when I was speaking at a ladies' meeting at church. My message was on trust, and I opened my hardcover Bible to the page where this verse was found. 

As I spoke, I began to casually but carefully tear the page out of my Bible, much to the horror of some of the ladies there. I held the page up and said, "This is my understanding."

I then held up a pen and said, "And this is me."

Holding the page just above the podium, I tried in vain to lean the pen into the page. Needless to say, the very thin paper could not support the weight of the pen, and the pen just kept falling. 

I carefully placed the page back inside the Bible, closed the Book and said, "But watch this. When I submit my understanding to God's and allow His Word and His understanding to surround mine..." I stood the Bible up on the podium and successfully leaned the pen into the Bible, which, of course, was plenty strong to support it. My point was made. 

I still have that Bible, and that page is still folded and rests in its rightful place. It serves as a constant reminder to me of how feeble my understanding is and that my need to fully trust Him is great. 

"In all your ways acknowledge Him, 

and He will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:6

As we encounter the stuff of life that presents itself to us every day, it is the acknowledging of Him that proves to be the greatest challenge. In order for me to acknowledge Him, I have to be still long enough to take my hands off the stuff and what I think the outcome should be and ask Him what His plan is in it. He promises that if we will simply do that, just stop and ask for His direction, He will make the path straight before us. 

It's like a divine GPS navigation system. Only the desired destination (destiny) has already been entered for us. He is giving us the directions. We just have to listen and follow the straight path that He is placing before us. 

The direction I think things are going seems to be changing almost daily, and as the Lord keeps gently reminding me, my security is not in the circumstances that surround me. My security lies in the quiet confidence that I am being closely held in the shadow of the Almighty, nestled safely next to His heart. Here is where I have found my hope.

"In repentance and rest is your salvation,

in quietness and trust is your strength..."

Isaiah 30:15

Transitions

After what seems like an eternity, I am finally sitting down to write again. Not that there has been any lack of material to write about. It's just that sometimes life necessitates that we focus more of our attention on living it than writing about it. Such has been this season for me.

So much of what I see happening around me right now involves transition. It seems that since the last few months of 2009 until now, not a week goes by without someone I know engaging in a change of some kind - new jobs, new homes, new cities, new engagements, new pregnancies. It is no coincidence that the word all of these things have in common is the word "new."

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?"

Isaiah 43:19 

This verse says two things to me:

1. God is fully engaged in an ongoing creative and restorative work in our lives.
2. If we aren't paying attention, we might miss it.

It is so easy to get so intertwined in the stuff of life that we lose sight of who He is, who we are, and why are here.

He is the God of the Universe, the Creator of all that is, the King of all Kings and Lord of all Lords. We are His children, growing up to be His friends, and maturing to become His Bride. We are here simply to know Him and to make Him known to all nations. Oh, and by the way - all nations starts right outside our own front door.

It's the "Do you not perceive it?" part of this verse that grips my heart and causes my gaze to be lifted from the things I clutter my life with to look up into His eyes. It is like He is saying, "Hello? Did you hear anything I just said? Weren't you even paying attention?"

There is a re-positioning happening all around us. God is maneuvering His people into the places and positions we must be in for this next chapter in human history. There is movement in the heavenlies, just as there is movement in the earth. The very foundations of the earth are literally shifting and shaking, causing great destruction on the surface. Minor and major earthquakes are in the news almost daily.

We would be foolish to not recognize this as a physical manifestation of what is also happening in the spirit realm.There is restructuring and movement in the deep spiritual places that will cause great disturbances on the surface of life as we have known it. There are surface issues that need to be shaken apart and broken loose so that true deliverance, restoration and freedom can come.

The questions we must ask ourselves are these:

• Do we perceive it? Are we paying close enough attention to recognize what God is doing?
• Are going to resist the change, go along grudgingly, or fully embrace the new thing He is doing?

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.

 See, I am doing a new thing!
       Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
       I am making a way in the desert
       and streams in the wasteland."

Isaiah 43:18-19

On the Verge

Music from the Heart: More of Jesus by Mylon LeFevre & Broken Heart

We are created for more. More glory, more greatness, more of the the manifest presence of God in every moment in which we draw breath. Why, then, do I so often feel like I am waiting for something to happen, like I'm chasing after some elusive destiny that will never be mine?

Recently I seem to keep hearing things like, "You're on the verge of something," and "Breakthrough is coming." My frustrated reply to these sentiments goes something like this: "I'm TIRED of being 'on the verge' of something! I want to be right smack dab in the middle of something!"

The "something" here is a living, breathing, life-altering move of God - in me, on me, all over me, and through me. Where IS that? And WHY is it not RIGHT HERE - RIGHT NOW?

I don't pretend for a nanosecond to know the answer to any of these questions. All I can offer is the desperate cry of a heart that is craving more - more of everything God is and does and has for me, His daughter.

The dictionary defines "verge" as, among other things, "a limiting belt, strip or border of something." Hmmm. Is it possible that my being always "on the verge" of some great move of God in my life somehow indicates that there is a "limiting border" that is held in place by, oh I don't know, maybe ... me? Could it be that there is something in me that is the reason why that breakthrough has not yet materialized? Perhaps a lack of faith, or a sense of unworthiness to be the recipient of all God has for me, or maybe plain and simple fear. Whatever it is, I want it gone.

What about you? What is it that hinders you from all that God longs to do in you and through you? Do you feel like you are always "on the verge" of something where God's purposes and plans for your life are concerned? Do you long to press past the "verge" and dive head-first into the living, breathing, life-altering move of God in you, on you, all over you, and through you - and all that goes with it? Are you craving more?

Me, too. So, what do we do now? I don't exactly know, but it is probably something different for you than it is for me. Whatever it is, let's ask God to reveal it, then let's do it! That sounds simple enough, doesn't it? Can it really be that easy? Have we (I'm speaking primarily to myself here) really made things so stinking complicated and involved that we have missed the obvious - pray and obey? Ummm, next question, please.

Seriously, though, I'm ready to get on with whatever comes next. I'm thinking along the lines of some strategically placed dynamite and blasting this "limiting border" to smithereens. You in?

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more
than all we ask or imagine, according to His power
that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church
and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations,
for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21

Spring Has Sprung

Spring has sprung. Okay, maybe not officially yet, but close enough. The official first day of Spring is two days away, and I'm already basking in the glory of the very idea of all the fabulous promise that is unique to this time of year.

This has already been a week of Spring firsts - first mowing of the backyard, first firing up of the grill, first sandals. There is an anticipation that accompanies Spring that is like no other. As the temperatures gradually warm and the gray winter sky gives way to a cloudless blue canopy, color begins to emerge all around. Yellow daffodils, green grass, pink roses have begun to peek out of their winter hiding places, a teaser of the burst of color that is just waiting for the right moment to emerge.

I can't wait to get my hands dirty and plant the Spring flowers that will grace the front and back porches. While it does sometimes happen naturally, beauty is often the result of work. The beauty of creation is the result of the work of God's hands. Beautiful hair is the result of the work of taking care of it. And the beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit is the result of the teamwork shared by two spirits - God's and mine.

My work is to submit my will and my heart to Him, completely and constantly, and His work is to take it from there. He continues to mold me into His image, freeing me from the lies and hurts that make me feel anything but beautiful. Freedom and beauty are closely interwoven. The more freedom I experience in my walk with Jesus, the more my beauty becomes evident to everyone, including my harshest critic, the woman in the mirror.

As we dive headfirst into this glorious season that promises new life, take the time to take inventory of what dreams in your heart are still in their winter slumber. Nudge them awake, and if necessary, blast the music until they jump up from their bed and come storming out the door of your heart - out into the glorious warmth and light of this new season in your life.

This is the season for resurrection! That which was dead now lives! There is nothing more beautiful than a life transformed by grace. The freedom that comes from knowing God and knowing who you are in Him makes you irresistible.

The creation waits in eager expectation
for the sons of God to be revealed.
Romans 8:19

Pursuing the Pursuer

It's February already. I'm not quite sure how it sneaked up on me like this, but it did. I feel as though January was for me part crazy busy productivity and part quiet retreat, somehow all at the same time. I'm not quite sure how that happened either, but I suppose I don't really need to know all the answers as long as I know the One who does.

My January journey came to a climactic close Sunday morning, February 1, as I sat on the floor in the back of the church, journal and pen in hand, and tears flowing so freely that I had to repeatedly stop writing because I could not see the page in front of me. The music ended, the tears ceased, and I sat staring at two pages of one of the most powerful personal words I have ever received from the Lord. The specifics of what He shared with me are too personal to share in this forum, as they are precious glimpses into the sentiment of the heart of a Lover toward His Beloved. I was overwhelmed by the bold confirmation of His affirmation of me, my dreams and my destiny.

I hesitate to share with you even what I have already written for fear of being received with the same enthusiasm as was Joseph, the Dreamer, when he shared with his brothers the dreams the Lord given to him regarding his destiny. I do not share this with you out of pride or selfish ambition. I tell you what happened to me because it is my desire to encourage you to pursue this same intimacy with Jesus, the Lover of your soul, the Wooer of your heart, the Lover chasing after the affections of you, His Beloved.

My January journey has ended, but the real journey is only beginning. This new place I find myself in is precious, but I don't want to stay here for long, because there is still distance to cover for me to snuggle up even closer to Him. I'll be sharing more of the insights I've received in recent days with you soon, so watch for them. They are changing my life, and I can only pray that they will inspire you to chase after the One with reckless abandon as the pursued becomes the pursuer.

"How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would
outnumber the grains of sand."
Psalm 139: 17-18

Seven Years in the Making

Yesterday a prayer was answered. It happened during the message at church. Our pastor was sharing on ... truthfully I don't recall all of it. There were two words he uttered that ignited something inside me. As he continued his message, I began to tune out, only half-listening. Okay, there I admit it. Let's move on.

These two words I wrote down. Then I paused. Then I wrote down a few more words, as I heard them in my spirit. Again I paused. A few more words, now coming more readily, and before the service was over, what lay on the page before me was the chorus to a new song.

We went about our regular Sunday afternoon activities, and in the evening, in a quiet room, I sat down at my keyboard. I began to play. A simple chord progression began to rise from the keys. Then I began to sing. Thoughts were coming almost more quickly than I could keep up with them. I hesitated with some of the lines I wanted to write down, because of their boldness. The strong words painted a picture that was unlike anything I'd written before. Truth isn't always pretty to look at. But it does result in our freedom when we dare to look it in the face.

The end result was a new song, the answer to a prayer, a cry of my heart that has gone up to the heavens for years. There was a time in my past when songwriting was as natural to me as breathing. Lyrics and melodies came from a place deep inside me where I was not alone. One of my secret disappointments over the last several years has been that I had not written a single song in seven years, since just before we moved to Arkansas.

Not that I haven't tried. I could sit down and come up with something just for the sake of writing something, but this has never been my desire. I have always wanted my music to minister, first to the Lord, then to the earthbound fellow worshiper. My songs have always been intimate, very personal, and mostly vertical in their message.

Here is the truth I have uncovered regarding this new breakthrough. When my life was surrounded by noise clutter, I could not hear the songs that have been lying dormant deep inside me. Now that I am spending more time surrounded by silence, my spirit, my mind and my heart are coming together to a quiet place and are allowing the songs to be heard. In the silence, my soul sings.

The two words Pastor Craig uttered during his message Sunday have become the title for the new song, "Undivided Heart." I am believing the Lord that this is only the beginning of what will become a series of songs born in a new season of my life and my relationship with Jesus. Many of my songs in the past were born out of pain and healing and restoration. These new songs, I believe, will be songs of deliverance and renewal, of returning to a secret, holy place of personal communion and worship, and of taking broken, hurting people to that place for the first time.

"But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers
will worship the Father in spirit and truth;
for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers."
John 4:23

My Little Corner

The following is n excerpt from my journal, dated Sunday, January 4, 2009. I am being consistently reminded these days of the need to simplify my life and my surroundings. Here is a little peek into my world ...

Yesterday I spent most of the day cleaning the bedroom. It isn't quite complete, but very close, and my new favorite spot is a corner I've set up as my personal quiet space.

I've had my eye on this spot for quite some time, and I'm thrilled that it's finally ready. It's in the southwest corner of the room, next to a west-facing window. There is a glider chair, and to my left as I sit here is a bookshelf built by my maternal grandfather. Housed on this shelf, along with pictures and a few other treasured items from our wedding, are a couple of Bibles, some devotional books, my personal Bible, this journal, a lamp, a CD player, and some worship cd's. A of Kleenex sits on my dressing table just to my right.

I expect many sweet hours here, countless encounters with my God, my Friend. I am filled with anticipation as I imagine close and intimate moments here with the Lover of my soul.

Yesterday as I dusted the shelves and their contents, I found myself praying a prayer of dedication of this special place to the Lord. I told Him that we will have many wonderful conversations here. This will be a place of revelation, of refreshing, of peace and communion.

How divinely precious is my little corner of the world.

Whose Voice Do I Hear?

This month, our church is corporately encouraging its members to identify those things that have hindered our relationship and time with God and set them aside in pursuit of reconnecting with our First Love. Each individual is left to personally identify what that thing or what those things are and to find an accountability partner (spouse or friend) to assist with remaining faithful to this endeavor.

For me, it's television and talk radio. The constant flow of babble had become routine in my home and in my car, providing a non-stop stream of conversation and noise that had saturated my mind and spirit in a way I was not really aware of - until I turned it off.

Wow. Quiet, while a welcome change, can be somewhat intimidating. It's more than just the removal of the noise. It's becoming aware of the habit of reaching for the remote or the radio dial and realizing just how accustomed we have become to having this unending backdrop of noise and conversation.

Now, here is the clincher. Once the man-made noise is removed, and quiet is restored in the home and in my spirit, I have found myself unexpectedly quick to hear the voice of One who has been speaking to me all along, but Whose sweet and gentle voice I was unable to hear clearly because of all the audio clutter I had surrounded myself with. Removing it, or at least reducing it to a bare minimum, has already proven to be one of the best decisions I have made in a long time.

So as I embark on this little January journey toward reconnecting with not only my First Love but with myself and with true reality, I have decided to share parts of this journey with you, in the hopes that some part of the revelation that I am anticipating will come will minister to your spirit as it has ministered to mine. I'll be posting excerpts from my journal in the days to come. I believe that when the Lord gives us insights into Him, we are meant to share them.

So for today, a simple encouragement borrowed from one my favorite writers, King David:

"May Your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord,
even as we put our hope in You."
Psalm 33:22

Quick Updates & Quiet Moments

Much has happened since my last post. Here's the rundown ...

Tyler is doing better and was able to spend Christmas at home. He has since had the cast replaced with a walking cast, which enables him to get around the house a little more easily. He will still use the wheelchair when he leaves the house. He is having IV medication administered every six hours (for about a month) through a PICC line in his right arm, which feeds about a foot and a half of tubing directly to his heart for better reception of the meds. This happens at home, and a home health nurse will go to school and administer the meds when he returns to school next week.

Other than that, we had a great Christmas with both sides of the family. It was all about the time spent with those we love, and our only regret is that we were unable to spend another week, and we would have loved to have had the opportunity to hook up with more friends while we were in town. God is good, and we were blessed to visit with a few friends, though.

Since we got back, we have hit the ground running, both at work and with the River. We are excited to see where the Lord will lead us this year, a year of renewed hope and fulfilled promises and realized dreams. We have both received some pretty strong and encouraging words for this year and are looking forward to see what the coming months will unfold before us.

On a sadder note, David's great uncle, Gene Johnson, passed away yesterday morning in Austin. We will not be able to return for the funeral, but Uncle Gene was special to David, as he was closer to him than he was his own father, which is a story for another time and place. Prayers for comfort for the family are sincerely appreciated.

In honor of our concentrated efforts this month to unclutter our lives as much as possible and to simplify our surroundings as we return to our First Love, I am temporarily removing the Music from the Heart in the interest of promoting a quiet, peaceful environment. An old song once reminded us, "Silence is golden ..." and what I am reconnecting with in these first days of 2009 is the beautiful peace and rest of simple silence. Now, for someone who has been accused of being a music junkie, the introduction of musicless moments into my day is HUGE, but I have already come to be reminded, in these precious moments of quiet solitude, how much more readily I can hear the voice of the Lover of my soul with no distractions and interruptions, even those that may seem "worthy."

So, again, enjoy this simple quiet moment, savoring it for all it's worth, and simply listen. Listen for that still, small voice gently calling you to a place of peace and rest and closeness in the coming year.

Grace & Peace,
Rachael

A New Perspective

In the last few days since my last post, I have traded in the ace bandage for an ankle brace, which is providing much more stability. I am in hopes that this will speed up the healing process, as I am already getting a little stir crazy while I am temporarily unable to move about as freely as I am accustomed to.

With that said, I must share with you my experience in church this morning. I was sitting in the back row with my foot propped up on a chair that had been turned around in front of me. Someone said to me that I should be sitting in front, because with everyone standing, I would not be able to see anything (meaning the worship team and any other doings that took place on the stage). Well, she walked off before I could reply, but my immediate answer was that I was not there to see anyone or anything that was happening in the front. I was here to meet God, and I could do that right where I was sitting.

And sure enough, as I sat there with very little of significance to look at during the worship time, the Lord spoke to me. He told me that part of the reason I have been temporarily grounded with this ankle injury was that He wants to show me some things. He began immediately by increasing my awareness of the worship that was taking place around me, something I rarely notice, since I am usually so closed off myself during times of corporate worship that I don't see much that goes on around me.

I'm not quite ready to discuss what He has begun to show me, but I am excitedly and actively embracing this season of inactivity, however long or short it may turn out to be, because I know that there is a purpose for it all. He is allowing me see some things from a different perspective right now, and I am to record what I see and observe for a future time.

So until then,

my eyes, ears and heart are open, Lord.
Speak, Lord, Your servant is listening,
watching and waiting ...

Home Sweet Home

Admittedly, it has been almost a month since my last posting, and since we have successfully complete our move into Fort Smith and I have internet access at home again, I hope and plan to be able to have more time to post more of what's going on in our little corner of the world.

One of the first things we have noticed since our relocation back to civilization is the savings in our gasoline budget. We are having to fill up both vehicles much less often and spending MUCH less on gas. That is a real blessing.

The house is starting to become a little more homey. We purchased a few pieces of new furniture, and I have been gradually getting little things here and there to make the place more our own. I did buy some sheer panels and iron-look rods for the living room. We were blessed to find furniture that we both love for the living room that suits our rustic country taste. I am having fun beginning to develop this room to feel warm and inviting. Now that I am spending so much less time driving to and from work everyday, I am finally getting a chance to flex my creative muscle again for the first time in a long time, and I'm loving it!

No deep philosophical musings tonight - just a simple "Hello, I'm back." Look for more details on the new abode soon. It's time for me to start winding things down for the night. My cowboy will be home soon from his men's meeting at the church.

Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

Rachael

Moving

Our move is progressing nicely. We are doing things a little differently this time. Since we were able to get the keys to the new place a few weeks before the official move-in date, we have been gradually moving things in almost daily. Since we currently live so far out, we have determined to make the most out of every commute into town, which means that we load up whatever we can carry in the car/truck, take it by the new house after work, unload and put it away, then bring the boxes and bins back to the old house to be repacked that evening.

We have gotten quite a bit moved over already, and we will be finishing up this weekend. It is admittedly tiring to have to commute to work, work a full day, unload a carful of stuff, commute back home, and sort and pack each evening, all the while making sure a husband and dog stay fed and well-tended to, but I know it will all be worth it soon.

I'm SO ready to be closer to work and church! The Lord has been faithful in blessing us with a great little place that has everything we needed and most of what we wanted. He is truly good, and may we all make the time to remember and acknowledge His goodness and faithfulness, no matter how busy our lives may be.

" Be still and know that I am God ..."

Psalm 46:10

Goodbye, Possum Hollow

We are moving! While I am not overly enthused about the the prospect of packing AGAIN and hauling all our earthly possessions to a new locale AGAIN, I am actually excited about this move because of the newness of it all.

A little background ... we live in the Fort Smith, Arkansas area. With a population of 80,000 people, Fort Smith is the second largest city in Arkansas, with the largest being the capitol city of Little Rock. We had the opportunity to move about a year and a half ago to a little house in the country on ten acres. That's right, ten acres of beautiful country landscape in the hills of the Arkansas River Valley. It's quiet, peaceful, and green. Trust me - it doesn't get much more country than Possum Hollow Road in Booneville, Arkansas. Being a country girl at heart, this sounded like a great idea to me, even though it would mean a daily commute of about 45 minutes. That was before gas prices skyrocketed.

For the past several months, we have been paying as much or more than our rent in fueling both vehicles, and I have come to realize that country living loses its appeal if you're not home enough to really enjoy it. So, we recently began the nerve-racking process of trying to find a place closer in to town, where we both work. I prefer not to relive this process, as it was so traumatic, so I'll spare you, my dear reader, the details. Suffice it to say that the process of looking for a new home is not one I care to repeat very often.

We had hoped to buy this year, with the market being favorable to buyers right now, but we have decided to rent a little longer, and continue to build our down payment fund with the money we will be saving on gasoline by moving back into town. We hope to be in a better position to purchase a home within the next year or so.

At any rate, we did find a place this past weekend, and we will be moving over Labor Day weekend. Our new residence is in a brand new subdivision, and the home has only been occupied by one other tenant, for about 3 months. There is a privacy fence around the backyard, so Sheba will still have a place to run around outside, although not being able to see through the fence may prove to be a test of her sanity - she likes to be able to see what she's barking at.

To our delight, we are on the last street in the very back of the subdivision, so it is nice and quiet, and there is - wait for it - wait for it - a cow pasture behind us. I guess I still get a little bit of country after all.

So for the next however-long-it-takes-us to finish getting our little duckies in a row to make a home purchase, we will be hanging out in a brand new place. God is good, and I am so thankful for His abundant provision.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Ephesians 3:20-21