The Salt of the Earth

We are the salt of the earth.  

In the days in which this was spoken, there was no refrigeration. Salt was used to prevent the corruption and degradation of food. We are called to prevent the corruption and degradation of the society in which we live. We cannot do that by remaining uninvolved in the political process. Ours is not only the right to vote and encourage others to do the same. Ours is the responsibility.

There are many who wear the label of Christian who are refusing to vote in November because they refuse to vote for a Mormon. Mitt Romney was not my first choice, but he is our only choice against Obama. Now is not the time for a misplaced sense of righteous indignation. Now is the time for unity as we stand together against another four years of the current administration carrying out a decades-old strategy to nullify our Constitution and the individual liberties it guarantees us.

If you think this is business as usual, think again. We are at a crossroads in our nation. Our freedom is at stake. Our future is at stake. With the same resolve that our founding fathers stood against tyranny as they established this free nation, so must we now unite as one and ardently fight against the forces that would strip away our liberty and move us toward socialism and worse.

They fought with guns and cannons. Our weapon is our vote. We CAN turn this ship around. There is no perfect candidate, so stop expecting one and using imperfection as an excuse not to fulfill YOUR civic duty. 

THINK! ACT! PRAY! VOTE!

Breaking the Cycle of Pain

I have a Joyce Meyer perpetual calendar on my desk in my home office. As I glanced over to see what today's little mini-devotional was about, I read the following words: Hurting people hurt people.

This is a true statement. When we are hurting, it is much easier for us to ignore the basic needs of others (even those we claim to love), and spew our hurt out onto everything and everyone within shouting distance.

When I hear these words, I am reminded of a time several years ago when a young woman said them to me. She was someone I was very close to. She was like a sister to me. I had poured into her life, and we had shared some wonderful times together in ministry.

But she had entered into a season of rebellion and seemed hell-bent on self-destruction, breaking the hearts of her family and all who knew her. I was at a birthday party one evening, sitting alone on the hearth of the fireplace, not really in much of a party mood. My world was being turned upside down by a husband who had been repeatedly unfaithful and was at that time completely unrepentant.

This young woman I described came and sat down beside me and informed me she was pregnant - the inevitable consequence of her reckless behavior. She went on to describe how she had recently introduced my husband to a young woman at a party for the express purpose of the latter two slipping off into the next room to have sex. My "friend" had actively participated in the assault on my marriage. I was devastated.

When I asked her how she could do that to me, she casually remarked, "Oh well, you know what they say. Hurting people hurt people." Without even an ounce of remorse or regret in her voice, and not even an attempt at an apology, she dropped that little bombshell as an excuse for her behavior and walked off to rejoin the party. She seemed to genuinely believe that her own pain (the ultimate source of which was her own hardened heart) was a legitimate excuse for doing what she did; and furthermore, she seemed to imply that the fact that she, too, was "hurting" should somehow lessen my own pain.

Are you kidding me?

The following year was an emotional roller coaster ride that ultimately crashed head-on into the end of my marriage. Her words and the spirit in which they were offered lingered with me for a long time and became part of what I had to let go of and get healed from. That friendship has never been restored. Sometimes we must let go and leave behind the things that are toxic to our emotional health. It isn't easy, but the resulting peace is worth it.

A Word to the Wise
If you have hurt someone, especially someone you love and/or who loves you, do not offer lame excuses for your behavior. Own it. Confess it. Get it right with God first. Then you will be in a more legitimate place to make it right with the one you have wounded.

If you have been hurt by someone, forgive as quickly as possible, whether or not the offending party has any clue to the damage they have caused. Don't confuse forgiveness with being a doormat for someone who is unrepentant or who obviously has their own issues to work through before they can be a part of a healthy relationship. Establishing healthy boundaries and learning how to gently and lovingly enforce them is one of the most liberating things we can do when we have been hurt.

Don't let your own pain give way to you hurting someone else. When I was going through the unbelievable heartbreak of the last several months of my first marriage, there were times when I wanted to hurt someone - anyone. But the Holy Spirit kept a close rein on me, and I could not lash out. Instead, I experienced some of the most precious times alone with Him as He held me and healed me. The lie is that if you hurt someone else, you will feel better. Don't fall for it. It is a trap. It is what keeps the "hurting people hurt people" cycle moving forward. Stop it.

Happy Endings
God is faithful. After my divorce, I spent a few years getting healed and rediscovering who I was before He brought a wonderful man into my life. My husband, David, and I have been married for over nine years now, and he is the love of my life and has taught me more about unconditional love than I ever imagined possible.

I have also been blessed with a whole circle of girlfriends, some near and some far, who have become to me a sisterhood I treasure and trust. These are women who have seen the good, the bad and the ugly and they love me anyway, and I, them. These are the women I will live next door to in eternity, as we laugh and love and live forever.

As for the young woman, I have not kept up with her personally. What others have shared with me over the years would indicate that she struggled for a long time, well into her own marriage, with conquering the selfish outlook on life that was so destructive when I knew her. My prayer is that she will one day, if she has not already, truly experience the freedom that comes from genuine repentance and true inner healing - the kind that digs deep and draws out the source of the pain and disposes of it. For good.

My first husband has recently taken another bride (his fourth). My sincere prayer is that this marriage will last - that after all these years, perhaps he has finally learned what it means to genuinely love his bride the way Christ loves the church - unselfishly and unconditionally. I pray that his past will not haunt him, and that the peace that passes all understanding will reign in his heart and in their home.

Do hurting people hurt people? Absolutely. But they don't have to. Choose repentance. Choose forgiveness. Choose the hope of a different tomorrow. Cling to Jesus, and He will lead you there.

On the Verge

Music from the Heart: More of Jesus by Mylon LeFevre & Broken Heart

We are created for more. More glory, more greatness, more of the the manifest presence of God in every moment in which we draw breath. Why, then, do I so often feel like I am waiting for something to happen, like I'm chasing after some elusive destiny that will never be mine?

Recently I seem to keep hearing things like, "You're on the verge of something," and "Breakthrough is coming." My frustrated reply to these sentiments goes something like this: "I'm TIRED of being 'on the verge' of something! I want to be right smack dab in the middle of something!"

The "something" here is a living, breathing, life-altering move of God - in me, on me, all over me, and through me. Where IS that? And WHY is it not RIGHT HERE - RIGHT NOW?

I don't pretend for a nanosecond to know the answer to any of these questions. All I can offer is the desperate cry of a heart that is craving more - more of everything God is and does and has for me, His daughter.

The dictionary defines "verge" as, among other things, "a limiting belt, strip or border of something." Hmmm. Is it possible that my being always "on the verge" of some great move of God in my life somehow indicates that there is a "limiting border" that is held in place by, oh I don't know, maybe ... me? Could it be that there is something in me that is the reason why that breakthrough has not yet materialized? Perhaps a lack of faith, or a sense of unworthiness to be the recipient of all God has for me, or maybe plain and simple fear. Whatever it is, I want it gone.

What about you? What is it that hinders you from all that God longs to do in you and through you? Do you feel like you are always "on the verge" of something where God's purposes and plans for your life are concerned? Do you long to press past the "verge" and dive head-first into the living, breathing, life-altering move of God in you, on you, all over you, and through you - and all that goes with it? Are you craving more?

Me, too. So, what do we do now? I don't exactly know, but it is probably something different for you than it is for me. Whatever it is, let's ask God to reveal it, then let's do it! That sounds simple enough, doesn't it? Can it really be that easy? Have we (I'm speaking primarily to myself here) really made things so stinking complicated and involved that we have missed the obvious - pray and obey? Ummm, next question, please.

Seriously, though, I'm ready to get on with whatever comes next. I'm thinking along the lines of some strategically placed dynamite and blasting this "limiting border" to smithereens. You in?

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more
than all we ask or imagine, according to His power
that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church
and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations,
for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21

Chocolate or Vanilla?

Music from the Heart: Every Move I Make by Passion Worship Band

It's a little after three AM, and I was awakened by a dream a little while ago. Actually, I woke up almost singing.

I lead worship for an outreach church called The River Fort Smith. The River is a sister church of City Christian Fellowship, which we sometimes refer to as the "mother ship." I played with the CCF worship team for a while before my hand was seriously injured in a rollover accident in May of 2006. It was nearly a year before I was able to play again, and several more months before I was able to play for any length of time. Since then, the Lord brought other keyboard players into the mix, and I was free to fully pursue my true passion: providing a meaningful worship experience for the precious people of The River.

In my dream this morning, I was at a rehearsal of the CCF worship team, sitting near the keyboard player, observing. I had the opportunity to sing with the background vocalists if I wanted to. I was sitting there pondering whether or not I wanted to sing with the group or just enjoy the worship service from the congregation. The reasons for and against singing with the team that morning kept rolling over in my head, and I woke up before I made a decision. I woke up singing, "Every Move I Make."

I believe that what the Lord was showing me was that sometimes we are faced with choices that we struggle with in our desire to find the perfect will of God. In our effort to step only into that perfect will, we hesitate to make any move at all for fear of it being the wrong one, so we do nothing.

Granted, there are some decisions we must make when a clear direction one way or the other is necessary and we must seek His will and be obedient. But other times we are faced with options that are equally good and beneficial, and we will be blessed in whichever one we choose.

When we are walking in true freedom and in close relationship with Him, we are sensitive to His voice and leading. We KNOW when He is pulling us back, saying, "No, don't go there." We can also know that sometimes He says, "Here, you can choose either of these, and whichever you want is fine with Me." It's like being asked, "Which kind of ice cream do you want - chocolate or vanilla?"

Legalism binds. Relationship brings freedom. Jesus showed us the difference in John 15:15 when he said, "I no longer call you servants ... instead, I have called you friends." In the same chapter, He instructed us to abide in Him. When we are in Him, we can know true freedom because we know where the boundaries are. It's like children on a fenced-in playground, free to run anywhere inside the fence. They can choose to play on the monkeybars or the swings or the merry-go-round.

The encouragement here is this: don't take life so seriously that you over-spiritualize every little aspect of it and miss out on the pure joy of just being in relationship with Him. Take your relationship with Him seriously and don't trivialize it; but enjoy the freedom to run and play and dance and be His child. It's His heart for you. Something to ponder until next time ...

"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17

Hope of Restoration

It's been a couple of weeks since I last posted. Many times I have sat down to start, but something else always seems to take precedence. Not today.

My heart today is filled with many things: peace in the face of uncertainty, thankfulness for the goodness of the Lord in providing for every need, and an ever-deepening love and admiration for my husband.

But underneath these wonderful things lies an ache that I cannot soothe. It is the dull pain of a vision that has not yet been fulfilled, a destiny not yet realized. Its roots are planted deep in the soil of a hope that has seen and tasted the goodness of the God of restoration who has given us, His Bride, the ministry of reconciliation. The deepest desire of His heart is to reconcile His most glorious creation, you, to an intimate relationship with Him.

You find yourself today at a place where your heart longs for something more than what you have yet experienced in your life. You may have tried to feed that longing with empty relationships, addictive drugs or alcohol, secret activities that now control you, career ambitions or maybe even church, ministry and family activities. Maybe you simply struggle day in and day out just to maintain, living paycheck to paycheck, never knowing true rest, desperate for something that you can't even put a name to. You are weary.

This message is for you.

Your mourning is about to be turned to dancing, your weeping into laughing, and your sorrow into joy as the God of restoration Himself infuses your situation with His presence. In the overwhelming cloud of His presence, that thing you are facing that has consumed your vision WILL NOT BE ABLE TO STAND. It WILL fall! Your time is NOW! Embrace it. Your destiny hangs heavy over you and the pending birth will launch you into kingdom-shaking authority as the Lord breathes His life into your passion - the same life-giving breath He blew into the lungs of Adam. It's yours - right here, right now.

Now is the time to be reconciled to Him. Today is the day for hope to be rekindled in your heart. Let the restoration begin.

Father God, as we submit to Your magnificent plan,
saturate us in Your presence again and again and again.
Here in this place of intimacy with You
we have found our healing, our rest, our peace, and our purpose.
Gloriously wash over over us even now
with healing and restoring waters
that burst forth from Your throne.
Immerse us in You. So let it be.
Amen.

Life on the Edge

Music from the Heart: How He Loves Us by Kim Walker

Surrender and Trust. They stand together facing me, hand in hand. Each extends the remaining hand to me, inviting me to join them in a circle of three. Their intent is to lead me to the edge of my comfort zone and coax me to jump out into the vast abyss of possibility that is my destiny.

I have been here before, with these same two companions. Each leap takes me to a deeper level of awareness of His presence and His plan for my life. Why, then, do I even hesitate when I find myself facing this decision again? Why haven't I already jumped?

For me, it is a question of will. Whose will am I truly committed to - mine or His?

Yesterday, as our pastor was closing his message on the Lord's Prayer, he offered the following interpretation of the phrase, "Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven":

"May I have no will of my own. May Your will be all that I seek."

In my heart, at this moment, this is a matter of surrendering even my deepest desires and most extravagant dreams back to the One who placed them in my heart. This is not as easy as it sounds, but I must keep reminding myself that to give them back over to Him does not mean giving up on the dream. It means giving up on being in control of the dream.

I choose to follow the example of our spiritual father, Abraham, as he accompanied his son, Isaac, up the mountain. He was fully prepared to put the boy to death in obedience to the Lord, but he also was equally prepared for a substitute sacrifice to be provided. I choose to lay my dreams down at His feet, and I have the same assurance that what the Lord returns to me will be His good, pleasing and perfect will for me.

Ultimately, it is the knowledge and experience of His amazing, unimaginable, crazy love for me that enables me to relinquish even those things most precious to me back to Him.

Surrender and Trust are becoming closer friends to me, and I find myself leaning on them for strength. Together we are moving closer to the edge ...

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more
than all we ask or imagine, according to his power
that is at work within us...

Ephesians 3:20

I Surrender All

Music from the Heart: I Surrender All by Michael W. Smith

I mentioned in a prior post that I am a confessed and recovering control freak. When I mentioned this earlier in the week to a close friend, her reply was "Recovering?" She was, of course, questioning this part of my statement. She knows me well enough to know that "recovering" might be a bit of a stretch. I quickly defended myself by stating the obvious: "Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery."

Okay, so I may have not gotten far past this first step yet, but actually admitting this is a very big deal. All you fellow control freaks, (step out of your denial for a moment), you are smiling right now and nodding, as you know this to be true. Confessing that you have a hard time letting go of control is not easy. Since most of us are also perfectionists, admitting this problem forces us to also acknowledge that we have fallen short of some standard, no matter how unrealistic or self-imposed it is.

This week, once again, I have been brought to a place of self-examination by the lyrics to an old, familiar hymn. The song is I Surrender All. In digging into the simple but profound concept of total surrender, it is not necessary to look any further than the first verse:

All to Jesus, I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence daily live.

As I was preparing this song to include in this morning's worship set, I began to examine my own heart in light of these familiar words. I had to ask myself, "How much of me have I withheld from complete and total surrender to Him? How much of my time, my abilities, my goals, my dreams, my affection and allegiance - have I really come to a place of total surrender? Have I let go?"

The honest answer is, "No." The rest of the answer is, "But I am learning to." Even this morning, as I filled in as a guest worship leader with a band that I have never played with before, I had to let go of the control and not be consumed with how things sounded and whether or not I was adequately prepared. And when I did, the Lord came. He came, and in His presence, I was free and comfortable.

So here is your challenge, Dear Reader. Examine your heart for those areas where you need to release the control to the One who knows you best and loves you most. Choose to let go, and bask in the freedom that follows.

This is not a matter of convenience or comfort or enhancing our relationship with Jesus. This is a matter of survival. One look at the evening news and it is obvious that we are in a day when man's "wisdom" and puffed up strategies on how to "fix" our country's and the world's problems are being exposed as miserable failures day in and day out. OUR ONLY HOPE is complete and utter surrender into the hands of our God. HE will cover and protect His children. HE will provide for every need. HE will defend the widow and the orphan. HE will lead us beside still waters and cause us to rest under the shadow of His wing.

Whatever you are carrying that is weighing you down, that thing that keeps you awake at night, that consumes your thoughts day in and day out - let it go. Give up the control. Let Him take it. His shoulders are big enough to carry it. Surrender - and walk freely into your destiny!

Spring Has Sprung

Spring has sprung. Okay, maybe not officially yet, but close enough. The official first day of Spring is two days away, and I'm already basking in the glory of the very idea of all the fabulous promise that is unique to this time of year.

This has already been a week of Spring firsts - first mowing of the backyard, first firing up of the grill, first sandals. There is an anticipation that accompanies Spring that is like no other. As the temperatures gradually warm and the gray winter sky gives way to a cloudless blue canopy, color begins to emerge all around. Yellow daffodils, green grass, pink roses have begun to peek out of their winter hiding places, a teaser of the burst of color that is just waiting for the right moment to emerge.

I can't wait to get my hands dirty and plant the Spring flowers that will grace the front and back porches. While it does sometimes happen naturally, beauty is often the result of work. The beauty of creation is the result of the work of God's hands. Beautiful hair is the result of the work of taking care of it. And the beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit is the result of the teamwork shared by two spirits - God's and mine.

My work is to submit my will and my heart to Him, completely and constantly, and His work is to take it from there. He continues to mold me into His image, freeing me from the lies and hurts that make me feel anything but beautiful. Freedom and beauty are closely interwoven. The more freedom I experience in my walk with Jesus, the more my beauty becomes evident to everyone, including my harshest critic, the woman in the mirror.

As we dive headfirst into this glorious season that promises new life, take the time to take inventory of what dreams in your heart are still in their winter slumber. Nudge them awake, and if necessary, blast the music until they jump up from their bed and come storming out the door of your heart - out into the glorious warmth and light of this new season in your life.

This is the season for resurrection! That which was dead now lives! There is nothing more beautiful than a life transformed by grace. The freedom that comes from knowing God and knowing who you are in Him makes you irresistible.

The creation waits in eager expectation
for the sons of God to be revealed.
Romans 8:19

The Smell of Freedom

It's been more than a month since I posted. In some ways the days have sped past me like I was sitting still, and in others, it is as though it has been much longer.

We lost David's sister, Judy, on February 11. She suffered a fatal blood clot in her lung following surgery on a broken ankle. The time spent in Austin with the family was bittersweet, but the presence of the Comforter was quite strong at the funeral services.

Two hours after singing at the funeral, I lost my voice, which had a significant impact on my plans to lead worship at the Thrive women's retreat that weekend - in fact, it made it impossible. But God had other plans, which He typically does when ours turn south, and it was a sweet time with my sisters, including a very timely and personal encounter with Him. God is so good.

Over the next several weeks, as my voice has slowly recovered, I have come to appreciate the silence and the things that the Lord is speaking to me in that silence. For weeks I was rendered quiet and was forced to slow down and listen. What I heard was the strong, gentle voice of the One who knows me more intimately than I even know myself. He has at the same time quieted things in me that needed to be stilled and begun to stir up in me those things that have laid dormant for far too long.

Revelation regarding my own value and worth is slowly taking shape in a way I never expected. From understanding more about myself and my destiny to recognizing the specific strategies of the enemy to target me personally, I am coming to a place of a deeper awareness that will lead me into a freedom I have never known.

The smell of deliverance is lingering in the air. Freedom hovers nearby, whispering my name and beckoning me with the challenge, "How desperate are you? How badly do you want to be free?"