Intimacy Can Be Messy

What does intimacy look like?

I'm not talking about physical intimacy. I'm talking about knowing and trusting someone so deeply as to be unafraid to be completely honest with them - knowing that they will not reject you no matter what. Even more than that kind of intimacy with another individual, I am talking about our relationship with God.
What does that intimacy look like? I had an encounter this morning that surprised me.

Unable to sleep, I found myself early this morning (like 4:30 early) sitting in front of my computer trying desperately to put into words even a little of what has been brewing inside me for the past several months. I failed.

Over and over again I would write a few lines only to delete them and start over in a different direction. Nothing seemed to even begin to convey what is trying to scratch and claw its way out of me.

After repeated attempts to share what is in my heart without sounding like I was complaining, I finally stopped. I deleted what was on the screen in front of me and took my hands off the keyboard.

I lowered my head as my heart began to utter the words I had been afraid to write. The contents of my heart came gushing out with tears as I turned my conversation away from you (my readers) and squarely onto my Lord.

As the tears and words poured forth, detailing all the things I am weary and frustrated from and the things I wish were different in my life, they were not met with the anticipated reprimand for feeling that way or for being selfish. Instead came that familiar soothing, strong and gentle voice that simply said to me, "This is intimacy." I could almost feel His arms around me. Relief flooded every part of me as I breathed in deep and exhaled, realizing that He was not angry with me about the way I feel. In fact, He loves it when I am deeply honest with Him. This is the intimacy that He desires to have with every one of us.

True intimacy is about honesty, vulnerability and trust. It allows me to stop hiding behind the words and behaviors that are "expected" of me (whether by myself or others) and frees me to not only love, but to be loved - warts and all.

Intimacy with God is not just about spending time reading His word and listening for His voice. It isn't even just about engaging in personal worship. All these things are good and necessary aspects of a deepening and growing relationship with Him. But the truest intimacy comes when we are totally vulnerable and honest about who we are and what is inside. This level of intimacy provides a safe place for everything that is hiding in the heart to come out - the good, the bad and the ugly (of which we all have some measure of). There is nothing we can tell God that catches Him off guard or takes Him by surprise. He already knows it all anyway.
 
What I experienced this morning brought me even closer to Him. It reminded me that it's okay to question and wonder about where this journey is taking me, and it's okay to sometimes be frustrated about not understanding why the process He is working out in me is taking so long. These things do not threaten Him or diminish His omnipotence in any way. They simply reveal that I am still a work in progress and that my dependence on Him is great.

In these moments, when I am tearfully telling Him what is inside, He holds me close and reminds me that we are in this thing together and that I need only to lean on Him and trust Him to navigate me through.

True intimacy with God can be messy, but it changes us - and that's a mess I can live with.

The Salt of the Earth

We are the salt of the earth.  

In the days in which this was spoken, there was no refrigeration. Salt was used to prevent the corruption and degradation of food. We are called to prevent the corruption and degradation of the society in which we live. We cannot do that by remaining uninvolved in the political process. Ours is not only the right to vote and encourage others to do the same. Ours is the responsibility.

There are many who wear the label of Christian who are refusing to vote in November because they refuse to vote for a Mormon. Mitt Romney was not my first choice, but he is our only choice against Obama. Now is not the time for a misplaced sense of righteous indignation. Now is the time for unity as we stand together against another four years of the current administration carrying out a decades-old strategy to nullify our Constitution and the individual liberties it guarantees us.

If you think this is business as usual, think again. We are at a crossroads in our nation. Our freedom is at stake. Our future is at stake. With the same resolve that our founding fathers stood against tyranny as they established this free nation, so must we now unite as one and ardently fight against the forces that would strip away our liberty and move us toward socialism and worse.

They fought with guns and cannons. Our weapon is our vote. We CAN turn this ship around. There is no perfect candidate, so stop expecting one and using imperfection as an excuse not to fulfill YOUR civic duty. 

THINK! ACT! PRAY! VOTE!

No More Bodies

Several bodies have been found near water in the past several weeks in the Austin area - at least one a week. Another one was in the news this morning. I do not think this is a coincidence.

Ezekiel 47 speaks of life-giving water flowing out from the sanctuary to the surrounding area. This fresh water changes its environment, even transforming the Dead Sea into a place where life thrives. Only the stagnant waters of the swamps and marshes remain unaffected.

The natural world we see around us often reflects what is happening in the spiritual realm; I believe this trail of bodies is not to be overlooked by God's people. It is a picture of those who come to a place of refreshing only to come face-to-face with death itself - and in most (if not all) of the recent deaths in the local news, they have died alone.

So here is what I am asking: Is this a reflection of the unintended affect the Church has had on the world around us as we have directed our attention and resources on building mini-empires and internal programs? Have we failed to effectively carry the water of life that flows from the throne to those who need it the most?  Have we become stagnant swamps, unaffected by the living water that passes us by on its way to bring hope, healing and restoration where it is needed, carried by those who dare to break free from "church as usual" and follow the persistent urging of the Spirit of God who still hovers over the face of the deep?

Ezekiel clearly describes a steady stream of life-giving water (we are the water) that comes out from the sanctuary (God's presence)  that flows so freely that it restores life wherever it goes. Multitudes of fish of every kind (all kinds of people from different backgrounds) live in these waters. Trees on both banks bear fruit monthly (not just seasonally) and bear lasting fruit that never fails (discipleship) and leaves that do not wither and provide healing (regenerating resurrection power).

This is the mission of the Church. It is what we must aspire to be - a conduit of the presence of the Most High that pours out from inside the walls that would contain it into the world around us with such volume that it becomes a river no one can cross. 

Until life flourishes and no more bodies are found along our banks...