Morning Desire

Music from the Heart: Draw Me Lord by Selah

Closeness. It is a state of being near to something or someone. The closeness that beckons me this morning is not a geographic position, but a nearness to Someone who I can't seem to get close enough to.

There is a longing in me that will not be quieted - a desire so deep that it permeates every cell in me, making my heart ache for more. Will I ever be able to get enough of Him? My spirit screams out a resounding, "Never!"

I want to crawl up into His lap and lay my head on His chest, and be lulled to sleep by the beating of His heart - to feel His arms securely and gently wrapped around me, holding me close. I want to feel His breath on my ear as He whispers His love to me, telling me of dreams and plans He has for me. I want to feel the moistness of His kiss on my cheek and see the light in His eyes as He gazes on me, His girl.

In these quiet early morning hours, when sleep has slipped away and the first light of dawn is still just a dream, my heart is yearning for Him with such a fierce passion that it takes my breath away. My heart is gripped with an almost painful longing to see the face of the One who knew me intimately before I drew my first breath.

The anticipation of time alone with Him is almost more than I can bear. What precious words will He share with me today? What wisdom will He impart? What new mercy will He bestow on me?

Here He comes. I hear Him calling my name. I must go and meet with Him in our secret place. This is our time.

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

Psalm 27:4

I Surrender All

Music from the Heart: I Surrender All by Michael W. Smith

I mentioned in a prior post that I am a confessed and recovering control freak. When I mentioned this earlier in the week to a close friend, her reply was "Recovering?" She was, of course, questioning this part of my statement. She knows me well enough to know that "recovering" might be a bit of a stretch. I quickly defended myself by stating the obvious: "Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery."

Okay, so I may have not gotten far past this first step yet, but actually admitting this is a very big deal. All you fellow control freaks, (step out of your denial for a moment), you are smiling right now and nodding, as you know this to be true. Confessing that you have a hard time letting go of control is not easy. Since most of us are also perfectionists, admitting this problem forces us to also acknowledge that we have fallen short of some standard, no matter how unrealistic or self-imposed it is.

This week, once again, I have been brought to a place of self-examination by the lyrics to an old, familiar hymn. The song is I Surrender All. In digging into the simple but profound concept of total surrender, it is not necessary to look any further than the first verse:

All to Jesus, I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence daily live.

As I was preparing this song to include in this morning's worship set, I began to examine my own heart in light of these familiar words. I had to ask myself, "How much of me have I withheld from complete and total surrender to Him? How much of my time, my abilities, my goals, my dreams, my affection and allegiance - have I really come to a place of total surrender? Have I let go?"

The honest answer is, "No." The rest of the answer is, "But I am learning to." Even this morning, as I filled in as a guest worship leader with a band that I have never played with before, I had to let go of the control and not be consumed with how things sounded and whether or not I was adequately prepared. And when I did, the Lord came. He came, and in His presence, I was free and comfortable.

So here is your challenge, Dear Reader. Examine your heart for those areas where you need to release the control to the One who knows you best and loves you most. Choose to let go, and bask in the freedom that follows.

This is not a matter of convenience or comfort or enhancing our relationship with Jesus. This is a matter of survival. One look at the evening news and it is obvious that we are in a day when man's "wisdom" and puffed up strategies on how to "fix" our country's and the world's problems are being exposed as miserable failures day in and day out. OUR ONLY HOPE is complete and utter surrender into the hands of our God. HE will cover and protect His children. HE will provide for every need. HE will defend the widow and the orphan. HE will lead us beside still waters and cause us to rest under the shadow of His wing.

Whatever you are carrying that is weighing you down, that thing that keeps you awake at night, that consumes your thoughts day in and day out - let it go. Give up the control. Let Him take it. His shoulders are big enough to carry it. Surrender - and walk freely into your destiny!

Be Still My Soul

Music from the Heart: Be Still My Soul/What A Friend by Selah

This is a season for storms. Literally and figuratively. Spring is notorious for producing everything from cool refreshing showers to devastating tornadoes, especially in the South.

In the spirit, there has also been in recent days a recurring theme of storms in everything from sermons to songs to dreams. This should come as no surprise with our nation and its people being in the state they are in, economically, politically, socially, and spiritually.

On a personal level, sometimes these storms are nothing more than little squalls, more of a nuisance than anything causing substantial damage. Other times, the storm comes with such ferocity as to rip apart everything we know and believe right down to the very foundation.

As we face a couple of personal storms right now, one job-related and one in the ministry we are a part of, I received hope and reassurance earlier this morning as I was getting ready for church. It came in the form of aged lyrics to two songs (arranged in a medley) that have withstood the ravages of time. The message to me came clearly as I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me and whisper, "This is for you."

As a confessed and recovering control freak, I have been wrestling within myself about what to do about these storms. I popped a Selah CD into the player, and I was greeted with a timely encounter with Jesus. He can and will meet us anywhere and anytime, even while we are applying mascara.

These are the words that I had to replay again and again as they brought me hope, reassurance, and a gentle rebuke for trying to navigate the storms in my own wisdom and strength, not releasing them over to the One who has the capability to calm both the storm and His child.

My prayer today is that you, too, will find comfort and hope as I have, in the face of whatever storms you encounter, through these timeless words:

Be still my soul,
The Lord is on your side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain
Leave to thy God To order and provide
In every change, He faithful will remain
Be still my soul, Your best, your Heavenly Friend
Through stormy waves leads to a joyful end.

Oh, be still my soul
The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Oh, what peace we often forfeit
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer.

Selah.