The Ancient Path

In the summer of 2002, my husband and I moved from Austin, Texas to Fort Smith, Arkansas. It was a job transfer that brought us here, but it was the Lord who led us here.

One of the first things we did was to begin searching for a church home. David had picked up a welcome packet from the Chamber of Commerce, and inside was a list of area churches. We sat down one afternoon and began looking it over. Having met while serving at an outdoor church for the homeless in Austin, we both hoped to find a local body of believers with a strong emphasis on outreach - a city vision.

As my eyes scanned down the usual choices, there was one name that captured my attention - City Christian Fellowship. Nice and simple, not fluffy or flashy. That Sunday, we walked into what immediately became home for us. We've been there ever since.

Our pastor has for many years been a worship leader/psalmist, and his latest recording, The Ancient Path, is a meditative worship album with Psalm 23 as its theme. It's something I would like to share with you now.

Rather than rant on about how much I love this album and how I think everyone should have it, I will instead refer you to The Ancient Path's website, where you can read about the story behind the project, download your free copy of the entire album (and the accompanying book), and learn more about the missions work in Belize that receives 100% of the proceeds from donations. Craig receives nothing from any of the money raised with this project. Donations are not required to download the album or the book. But they are appreciated.

Blessings all over you and yours,
Rachael

Christmas in the Heart of God

Music from the Heart: Welcome To Our World by Michael W. Smith

It's hard to believe it's been nearly a month since I last posted. Needless to say the past several weeks have been crazy busy, which is why I have had little time so sit down long enough to process a thought, much less write about it. Somehow I have managed to do so today. Right here. Right now.

So here it is, two days after Thanksgiving with Christmas fast approaching, and as usual, my heart longs to make this season linger as long as possible. As much as I love Christmas and all the nostalgia and tradition that accompanies it, there is still a part of me that is saddened a little more every year as I realize that so much of how we celebrate the birth of Jesus really does very little to touch the heart of God. And as the objects of His deepest affection, isn't that what we should be about in everything we do ~ touching His heart?

There is nothing inherently wrong with buying (or making) and exchanging gifts, nor is there anything evil about the parties, cookie exchanges, school and church programs, and other festivities that we engage in to celebrate Christmas.

But as we spend hours standing in lines, baking cookies, and attending all the functions of the season, and while we are doling out hard-earned dollars for gifts, cards, and decorations, may we regain a sense of the purpose for which He came.

"...the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.
       He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
       to proclaim freedom for the captives 

and release from darkness for the prisoners, 

  to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
       and the day of vengeance of our God,
       to comfort all who mourn,

  and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
       to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, 

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
       and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
       They will be called oaks of righteousness,
       a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor."

Isaiah 61:1-3

This is what touches the heart of God. This is why He came here in the first place. This is how we should celebrate His coming ~ to fulfill His purposes in our generation. His plans and purposes have not changed. They remain as they were in the beginning.

"But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, 

the purposes of His heart through all generations."

Psalm 33:11

Walk with Me

Music from the Heart: Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

A few years ago, three friends and I (the core leadership team of what is now The River Fort Smith, an outreach church), felt a pressing need to get away for a few days to refresh, recharge, reconnect. So the four us piled into the car and headed to St. Louis to attend the Joyce Meyer Women's Conference. We jokingly called it our "Elders Retreat," but it quickly became a weekend filled with laughter, tears and memorable moments, with laughter presiding. Way before the weekend was over, we all knew this girly getaway was destined to become an annual event.

We have since left our mark on Tulsa & Branson. This year we made our trek through the Ouachita National Forest to Hot Springs Village for three days of doing absolutely nothing. It was glorious.

In terms of personality and life experiences, we are about as diverse a group as you can get, which is probably why we enjoy each other so much - and definitely why we need each other so much. But when it comes to a desire to bring hope, healing and restoration to hurting people, we share a strong and common passion. We are girlfriends and partners in ministry.

We have laughed together, cried together, made fun of each other, even hurt and forgiven each other. We have worshiped together, prayed together, and ministered shoulder to shoulder. We have seen each other at our best and our worst, from dressing up for a "Putting on the Ritz" dinner event to lounging in wrinkled pajamas with bed hair & no make-up. We have counseled each other, corrected each other and cheered each other on. These relationships are real, rich & genuine, and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Back to Hot Springs Village this past weekend. This was a no-agenda, all-diets-are-off, total chill-time weekend with the girls. On Saturday, it was after 4 o'clock in the afternoon before we shed our pajamas and got dressed to go out for a little nature walk. It was a perfect autumn afternoon in Arkansas - a warm sun peeking through leaves of orange, red & gold, playful squirrels at every turn, and the unmistakably nostalgic rustling sound made only by feet shuffling through the leaves that have already found their way to the ground. It was perfect.

Being a photo junkie, a nature walk doesn't happen in my world without a camera. I managed to snap several shots of multicolored leaves, trees & sunlight reflected on the lake, and even a couple of a squirrel who agreed to pose for me. But my favorite picture is one that I caught when I lagged behind the other ladies while they walked ahead on the hillside path. It captures three friends walking side-by-side on life's journey, drawing strength and comfort from the presence of each other. While this picture may be found lacking in quality in terms of photographic excellence, it is priceless to me because of its content.

One of our little entourage is headed to MD Anderson in Houston next week for surgery. She will remain there for about a month, then recover for two more months at home before returning to work in February. Over the weekend, we presented her with a Healing Basket filled with all kinds of goodies - soft fluffy socks, candles, healing worship music, teaching CD's, her favorite candy, comfort foods, bath & body stuff, framed photos of the four of us, and a wide variety of other trinkets & tokens of our friendship. We also gave her a stack of get well cards, to be opened one per day while she is in Houston. Some contain inspirational messages or prayers, but most of them are designed to invoke laughter, which we all know is the best medicine for whatever ails you.

We are trusting our precious sister/friend to the capable skills of some of the leading specialists in the country But even more so, we are trusting her to the healing hands of the Great Physician, Who also just happens to be the One who designed and created her, knows her best and loves her most. She will walk through this experience with the three of us at her side, laughing, crying, whatever it takes to bring her through to the other side of this. And as soon as she is up to it, we have next year's trip to plan.

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend."

Albert Camus

In The Garden

I've stated in prior posts that I often wake up in the morning with a song in my spirit. This morning, it was the old hymn, "In The Garden."

In April of 1912, hymn-writer C. Austin Miles was alone in the dark room where he kept his photographic equipment and organ. As he opened his Bible, it opened to the 20th chapter of John - the post-resurrection encounter between Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Mr. Miles wrote of a vision he had that day, describing the scene in great detail.  

"My hands were resting on the Bible while I stared at the light blue wall. As the light faded, I seemed to be standing at the entrance of a garden, looking down a gently winding path, shaded by olive branches."

He goes on to share what he saw, ending with:  

"I awakened in sunlight, grip­ping the Bible, with muscles tense and nerves vibrating. Under the inspiration of this vision I wrote as quickly as the words could be formed the poem exactly as it has since appeared. That same evening I wrote the music."

Mary was distraught as she approached the tomb that morning. She so longed to be near to Jesus (even what she expected to be His lifeless body), that she could not even wait until daylight. She went while it was still dark. Seeing the stone removed from the entrance of the tomb, she ran to tell Peter & John that someone had taken His body.

The men came and saw for themselves that He was gone, and they went home. But Mary stayed. 

She was not ready to let go. Her heart was so intertwined with the person of Jesus that she could not bring herself to leave that spot, the last place she had known Him to be. 

After a brief conversation with two angels, Mary is addressed by another man, whom she assumes to be the gardener. She does not recognize Him to be the Lover of her soul. Not yet. But then she heard His voice. He uttered to her a single word, the first word He spoke after being resurrected from the dead (at least as far as we know from Scripture). With the utterance of a single word, Jesus made Himself known to her.

He only said one word. Her name. "Mary," He said.

Immediately Mary recognized His voice and turned to Him. The emotion that must have welled up inside her as she heard that familiar, sweet, comforting, powerful voice call her by name. I imagine that her eyes opened wide and her breath caught in her chest as she realized that it was Him.
 
May we all find the same sweet, intimate and deep relationship with Jesus that Mary had. The kind of relationship where even when we don't recognize Him in the circumstances of our lives, His voice is familiar enough to us that when we hear it, we know it is Him, turning to Him as Mary did.

IN THE GARDEN

by C. Austin Miles

     I come to the garden alone,

While the dew is still on the roses;

And the voice I hear, falling on my ear,

The Son of God discloses.

      

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,

And He tells me I am His own;

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.

      

He speaks, and the sound of His voice

Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,

And the melody that He have to me

Within my heart is ringing.

"The sheep that are My own hear 
and are listening to My voice; 

and I know them, and they follow Me." 

John 10:27 (Amplified)

Distractions & Passions

Music from the Heart: Amazed by The Desperation Band

Lately I feel like my head is going in more directions than it was ever intended to. The challenge is to keep my heart from doing the same.

There is a ceasless flow of things, people and situations that compete for my time, attention, affection, and allegiance. This is the world we live in.

It takes an intentional, focused effort to peel away from the stuff of life to get alone with my own thoughts, much less spend any kind of quality time with the One who loves me most.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength." Sounds easy enough, doesn't it? But what if any part of your heart is chasing after anything but Him, or if any part of your mind is consumed with your own plans, agendas, ideas, or endeavors? How easy does it sound now?

The comfort I find rests in the fact that He knows me intimately. He knows every thought before I think it. He knows every word before I speak it. He sees all my moments, past, present and future, while I see only this one. He loves me in spite of me, and the mind-boggling thing is that He doesn't just love me, He's crazy about me ... and you.

As we go about our days, making plans and doing things, building and ending relationships, gathering stuff, and just living our lives, the entire time, the God of the universe is singing over us. The King of Glory is chasing after our hearts, pursuing our passion with an intense fervor. He is peeking through the lattice, looking on His beloved Bride, just waiting for the moment when His Father says, "She's ready. Go get her and bring her home."

And insane as it sounds, even with this knowledge, it still takes a concentrated, intentional effort for us to pull away and just sit with Him for a little while. The pull of earthly distractions is strong. But our love for Him must be stronger. If it isn't, we are lost.

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.

 You know when I sit and when I rise;
       You perceive my thoughts from afar.

 You discern my going out and my lying down;
       You are familiar with all my ways.

  Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, O LORD.

 You hem me in—behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me.

 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. 

Psalm 139:1-6

The Purest Form of Worship

In the spirit of keeping things simple and getting back to basics, I am not writing a new post this morning. Rather, I am sharing with you something I wrote a couple of months ago. The following a is a brief article I wrote for our worship team's newsletter over the summer. It includes an excerpt from a blog post, "Martha Gets a Time Out."

THE PUREST FORM OF WORSHIP

Mary. That is such a simple, common name for a woman who in one moment quietly made a choice that placed her at the feet of Jesus, and who without a word demonstrated worship in its purest form. Surrounded by things that needed to be done and people who wanted her to do them, Mary set her gaze on the face of Jesus. She sat down on the floor at His feet and listened to Him as He shared His heart. Worship doesn’t get any more simple and pure than that – wordless wonder as we look on His face and listen to His voice.

Much emphasis is placed in most circles on the various forms of worship: singing, dancing, praying, etc… But I believe that worship in its purest form is a matter of the heart. To gaze on the face of the One we adore and be silent as we take in every word that comes from His mouth—that is true worship.

I often find myself so busy with the stuff of life that I fail to spend genuine time at His feet, just me and Him. It’s in these precious moments, no matter when or where they happen, when my gaze is fixed on Him and my heart is tuned into His voice, that my spirit is renewed and my soul restored.

As worshipers we must make these “Mary moments,” as I like to call them, a priority in our every day lives. He is looking for those who will worship Him in spirit and in truth. He is not impressed with our musical abilities—He gave them to us. He is interested in a pure heart that is completely His. Enter in.

Grimy Smudges & Glorious Reality

Music from the Heart: My Heart Your Home by Watermark


"Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you."    -John 15:4 (The Message)



The words of Jesus are are simple, profound, and life-altering. They challenge everything we think we know, and the truth we find in them sets us free from everything that would keep us outside the place He has designed for us to inhabit: a place in Him.

These words are no exception. Jesus Himself has invited us to live in Him - to move in, settle in and make ourselves at home there. We, in all our fumbling, stumbling, bumbling imperfection, have been extended a personal invitation from the King of Glory to come and dwell not only with Him, but IN HIM. He's not worried about us leaving our dirty fingerprints on the walls or grimy smudges on everything we touch. He welcomes it.

He invites us to this place because He loves us. We accept the invitation because we know that no grander opportunity can ever be presented to us - to be welcomed into the heart and home of God Himself as one of His own. He cleans us up, dresses us in fine clothes, gives us His name, and shares with us all that He is and all that He has, holding nothing back.

No more wandering through the dark streets of this life aimless, hopeless, lost and alone. We have been adopted into His family. We have been found and given a home and a hope. We have become the picture of restoration. The Creator of all things has reconciled us to Himself, calling us His own.

If you don't do anything else today, wrap your heart around this glorious reality - you belong to Him and in Him. He belongs to you and in you. Home just took on a whole new meaning.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; 

the old has gone, the new has come! 

All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ 

and gave us the ministry of reconciliation ..."

2 Corinthians 5:17-18

On the Verge

Music from the Heart: More of Jesus by Mylon LeFevre & Broken Heart

We are created for more. More glory, more greatness, more of the the manifest presence of God in every moment in which we draw breath. Why, then, do I so often feel like I am waiting for something to happen, like I'm chasing after some elusive destiny that will never be mine?

Recently I seem to keep hearing things like, "You're on the verge of something," and "Breakthrough is coming." My frustrated reply to these sentiments goes something like this: "I'm TIRED of being 'on the verge' of something! I want to be right smack dab in the middle of something!"

The "something" here is a living, breathing, life-altering move of God - in me, on me, all over me, and through me. Where IS that? And WHY is it not RIGHT HERE - RIGHT NOW?

I don't pretend for a nanosecond to know the answer to any of these questions. All I can offer is the desperate cry of a heart that is craving more - more of everything God is and does and has for me, His daughter.

The dictionary defines "verge" as, among other things, "a limiting belt, strip or border of something." Hmmm. Is it possible that my being always "on the verge" of some great move of God in my life somehow indicates that there is a "limiting border" that is held in place by, oh I don't know, maybe ... me? Could it be that there is something in me that is the reason why that breakthrough has not yet materialized? Perhaps a lack of faith, or a sense of unworthiness to be the recipient of all God has for me, or maybe plain and simple fear. Whatever it is, I want it gone.

What about you? What is it that hinders you from all that God longs to do in you and through you? Do you feel like you are always "on the verge" of something where God's purposes and plans for your life are concerned? Do you long to press past the "verge" and dive head-first into the living, breathing, life-altering move of God in you, on you, all over you, and through you - and all that goes with it? Are you craving more?

Me, too. So, what do we do now? I don't exactly know, but it is probably something different for you than it is for me. Whatever it is, let's ask God to reveal it, then let's do it! That sounds simple enough, doesn't it? Can it really be that easy? Have we (I'm speaking primarily to myself here) really made things so stinking complicated and involved that we have missed the obvious - pray and obey? Ummm, next question, please.

Seriously, though, I'm ready to get on with whatever comes next. I'm thinking along the lines of some strategically placed dynamite and blasting this "limiting border" to smithereens. You in?

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more
than all we ask or imagine, according to His power
that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church
and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations,
for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21

The Inner Sanctum

Music from the Heart: Sarabande by George Frideric Handel

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. For six days He engaged in the most unfathomable expression of creative power that ever existed. From galaxies to grasshoppers, He designed the universe in intricate detail. Then, on the seventh day, He rested.

Well, I'm not one to mess with a good thing, so in the spirit of following His example (not to mention His instruction) of a day of rest, I typically indulge in a Sunday afternoon nap. It's been said that Sunday afternoon naps are the best sleep you get all week. I can't argue with that.

And so it was that today after lunch I made my way to the bedroom to engage in a little Sunday slumber. There is something about walking into my bedroom that makes the rest of the world seem to slip into the background. It's like stepping through that threshold causes both body and spirit to let out a deep sigh of relief.

It's summertime, and in our part of the country, that means air-conditioners and fans. In our home, that means some combination thereof produces just the right mix of cool, conditioned air blowing across the bed. Following my usual routine, I laid down, picked up a book from the nightstand and began to read. After only a few pages, the steady hum of the box fan blended with the rhythmic spinning of the ceiling fan to produce a lullaby I could not resist.

The book slips out of my hands onto the bed, and I am out.

Why am I telling you this? Here's why. To me, my bedroom is like a sanctuary, an inner sanctum where I can escape from distractions and worries and chores and to-do-lists. It is to me a place of rest and peace that is to be guarded and protected. There is no television and no phone, and when I lay down for my special Sunday afternoon rest, I typically leave the cell phone in the other room. I don't want this time to be disturbed.

I don't invite just anyone into my bedroom. When you come to my house, you will be greeted and welcomed into the "family" areas of the home, and you might be shown the bedroom as part of the "grand tour" if you have never been here before. But if you are invited into my bedroom to linger and talk, then you are on a short list of close and personal friends with whom I am comfortable sharing this sacred place.

The dictionary defines a sanctum like this: a sacred or holy place, an inviolably private place or retreat.

Just like my bedroom is a private and personal place in my home, there is also an inner sanctum within my heart - a place where only I and One other are allowed to go - a place that is to be guarded and protected. It is a secret place where He and I meet, and where He expresses His heart to me and I bare my heart and my soul to Him.

What's in your inner sanctum? Is it a place of rest and peace? Is it free from distractions and clutter? How often do you go there? Do you go alone or do you frequently invite Him to meet you there?

I encourage you to spend as much time there as possible. Time spent in the inner sanctum, the holy place with Him, is time well spent, and it is vital to the furtherance of His kingdom, both in you and through you.

"I am the vine; you are the branches.
If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit;
apart from me you can do nothing."
John 15:5

The Heartbeat of God

It's late at night, and the house is quiet. Well, nearly quiet. The only sounds are the whirring of the ceiling fan, the clicking of the computer keys, and in the background, the soft strains of gentle, meditative worship music.

There is a deep longing in my heart tonight as I have come to this quiet place at His feet once again. It is not uncommon for my time with Him to be marked with tears, and tonight is no exception. They are tears of surrender as I lay my dreams before Him, trusting them to Him yet again. There are deep desires in my heart that long for fulfillment so desperately that the longing itself is almost painful.

It seems that my biggest struggle is that I keep trying to cause my dreams to be fulfilled in my own wisdom and strength. I know better, but I still work tirelessly to accomplish what He has already promised He would accomplish in and through me. Why can't I stop?

His voice whispers to me, "Do you trust Me?"

My heart replies, "I want to."

He pulls me close to Him. My head is buried in His chest as sobs overtake me and I exhale for the first time in what seems like months.

"What do you hear?" He asks. I listen closely for His heartbeat. I am not prepared for what I hear.

With a slow and steady rhythm, the beating of His heart begins to grow louder and louder in my ears.

"I love you - I love you - I love you," it says.

I am left speechless in His arms. The insistent reassurance of this simple truth is enough. He loves me. Really loves me. His heart literally beats with His love for me.

Nothing else matters.

I have found a place in His heart that is reserved only for me. It has my name on it. From eternity past to the infinite days of forever that lie ahead, no other person has ever or will ever hold this place in His heart. It is mine, and mine alone.

This is what it means to dwell in Him. I never want to leave this place. It is my safety, my refuge, my secret place. This is where I can be myself more than anywhere else. This is where there is no judgment, only joy - no ridicule, only release. This is where the green pastures meet the quiet waters. This is home. This is where I belong.

Selah.

"Call to me and I will answer you
and tell you great and unsearchable things
you do not know."
Jeremiah 33:3

He Is Faithful

Music from the Heart: Faithful To The End by Hillsongs

I am often overwhelmed by the goodness and faithfulness of God. When I stop and take account of even some of the countless ways He has proven Himself faithful to me again and again, I cannot help but respond with the tearful silence of a grateful heart that is humbled by His love.

I was in a conversation this week with a co-worker, and I found myself sharing a story from my past with her. It is one of my most precious memories of the darkest, most gut-wrenching time of my life. In the spirit of freedom that comes from genuine forgiveness, I will not share the details here. But the long and short of it is this:

My heart was broken. Everything inside me wanted to run away and hide, but my need to connect with a safe place to heal was more desperate than the intensity of my shame and pain. It was a Sunday morning, and I got in my car, not knowing where to go, but knowing I needed to be in church somewhere. I found myself in front of a church whose pastor I had known since high school and where I had attended several years earlier.

I waited until the service was well underway so I could slip in with as little notice as possible. I did not want to talk to anyone or answer any questions about what was going on in my life that had turned my world upside down. I just wanted to sit and soak in the worship and maybe the message. I literally sat in the last seat of the last row nearest the door and had every intention of making a beeline for the door as soon as the service was over. I told the Lord that if He wanted me to talk with the pastor, then to have him come to me.

As soon as the service was over, the pastor was standing in front of me before I could make my planned exit. He asked me two questions. First, he asked me how I was doing. I lowered my head to hide the tears welling up in my eyes, despite my best effort to keep them at bay. He asked one more question (more direct) and quickly discerned the source of my pain by my wordless response. He then took me in his arms and held me as I cried on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry," he said.

So here it is, twelve years later, and I still cannot recount this story without tears. But now my tears are not because of the pain in my heart, because that has been healed. The tears that accompany this story now are the natural response of an overwhelmed, formerly broken heart to the sweet grace and limitless love of a personal God who gave me what I needed when I needed it. When I felt like I was literally going under, He threw me a lifeline in the discerning eye and fatherly embrace of a pastor who had recently lost his youngest child (a daughter, age 10) to cancer. That was the moment my healing began.

Over the years I have lost count of the times when I have been able to speak into the hurting hearts of broken women with the compassion and wisdom that only come from having walked the path they now find themselves on. It is the faithfulness of God to be true to His character and His word that carried me through a long and deep healing process. When I felt most alone and my days were the darkest, I kept returning to the knowledge that He loves me and He is faithful. He has proven it to me again and again.

And He will do the same for you.

Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory,
because of your love and faithfulness.
Psalm 115:1

Where Jesus Had Church

Music from the Heart: The Heart of Worship by Matt Redman

Courtesy of an unusually crazy schedule the last few weeks, David and I have been missing each other like two ships passing in the night. So with today (Sunday) being the only day in several and in the foreseeable future that we were not going in separate directions, we decided to play hooky from church and invest in a little family time.

After going out for breakfast, he went to run an errand, then met me at the dog park, where I had already taken Sheba. While I was waiting for him, I found myself sitting on a bench under a shade tree by the pond. Sheba was happily playing in the water. I was savoring a few quiet moments with little more than the sound of the morning breeze dancing through the trees and the sloshing sound of Sheba moving through the water. That, and of course, the occasional roaring of a C-130 flying overhead as the boys at the nearby Air National Guard base ran Sunday morning flight maneuvers.

In between passing transport planes, I did manage to capture a few quiet moments to take in my surroundings. As I sat underneath huge shade trees and looked around at acres of an open, sloping, grassy field, one thought immediately came to my mind:

"This is the kind of place where Jesus had church."

Now, I enjoy a padded chair and air-conditioning as much as the next guy. But as I sat there imagining groups of people gathered together under a tree or along the banks of a river, listening to the gentle, strong voice of Jesus Himself, I could not help but long to have been there even for a moment, to witness first-hand these earliest days of New Testament gatherings.

I could just picture it: mothers holding babies in their laps and trying to keep small children occupied and quiet so they could hear Him; older kids and teens sitting close to their friends on the grass; men, some sitting with their families, others standing close by around the perimeter, keeping a protective eye on their loved ones; curious passersby pausing to listen to the life-transforming words before being on their way.

I've participated in outdoor worship gatherings, services, & prayer meetings, and I have to say that as a general rule, I prefer them over the confinement of the carpeted, padded-chaired, air-conditioned, mood lit four walls we call church - any day of the week. Yes, it gets hot out there (wear light clothing and bring a water bottle) and yes, you might have to sit on the ground or a hard concrete bench or at a splintered picnic table (or stand) and no, there is not a cry room or a nursery, or a bathroom with fruit-scented liquid soap, but there is something about the no walls, sky-is-the-ceiling, worshiping the God of creation surrounded by His creation experience that causes every other typical Sunday morning American church service to pale in comparison.

Jesus was a simple man. He lived a simple life. He set a simple example for us to follow: Love God, love others. Everything else is just stuff. But that's a message for another time.

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom ..."
1 Corinthians 1:25

Listen to the Lyrics

While leading worship last night at The River, the lyrics to one of the songs seemed to call to me, beckoning me to pause and examine them more closely. Too often we sit in church and sing songs with powerful words but our minds and spirits are not really connecting with what we are singing. Last night, I connected, and I believe others did, too, as we stopped for a moment to really take in what we were singing. Words have power - the power of life and death, and whether we speak them or sing them, their effect on the spirit realm and on our lives is profound.

With this in mind, I am simply going to share with you the lyrics of this song that captured my attention last night and encourage you to ponder each line and what it can mean for your life today - right now, in this moment.

What cry of your heart needs to be heard and answered today? What hope needs to be renewed? What deep, dark thing inside you is longing for freedom? There is safety in this place. He is here.

Here I am once again
I pour out my heart
For I know that you hear every cry
You are listening
No matter what state my heart is in
You are faithful to answer
With words that are true
And a hope that is real
As I feel Your touch
You bring a freedom to all that's within
In the safety of this place

I'm longing to...

Pour out my heart
To say that I love You
Pour out my heart
To say that I need You
Pour out my heart
To say that I'm thankful
Pour out my heart
To say that You're wonderful

Song: Pour Out My Heart
Artist: Brian Doerksen
Album: Light the Fire Again
Written by: Craig Musseau
Copyright: 1994 Mercy/Vineyard Publishing

Speak, Lord, Your Servant is Listening

Music from the Heart: Speak to Me by Rebecca St. James

Sometimes sleep escapes me. I can be physically wiped out and so ready for sleep I can almost taste it, but sleep and all its sweet, restorative powers can still slip through my fingers like water. Around 1 AM this morning, I was in another one of my sleepless moments, and my spirit heard the whisper, "Speak, Lord, for Your servant is listening."

I knew this line to be from the book of 1 Samuel, so I looked it up to read more of this familiar story. The boy Samuel was being raised in the temple by the priest Eli. On this particular night, Samuel was also having trouble sleeping. He kept hearing a voice calling his name, "Samuel! Samuel!"

Three times he heard his name, and each time, thinking it was Eli calling for him, Samuel got up and went to the old man of God to inquire of him what he wanted. It was only after the third time that Eli finally realized what was happening. The Lord Himself was addressing the boy. The story reads:

"Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD :
The word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him."
v. 7

Eli instructed his young charge to go and wait and listen. The next time he heard the voice calling him, he was to answer, "Speak, Lord, for Your servant is listening."

Samuel did as he was instructed, and the Lord began to speak to him about what He was about to do.

There are many things that fascinate me about this story, but for the sake of time and space I'll focus on just a couple for now. Verses 3 and 4 tell us this:

"Samuel was lying down in the temple of the LORD, where the ark of God was.
Then the LORD called Samuel."

At this time in history, the ark was where the presence of the Lord dwelt. Samuel was already resting in the presence of the Lord. He was in the perfect place to hear the voice of the Lord, and his spirit was ready to hear, as he was not busy, but resting.

The Lord didn't just start telling Samuel what He wanted him to hear. He got Samuel's attention by calling his name. Calling someone by their name makes the relationship personal. The Lord wanted a personal encounter with Samuel, and He ensured this by calling Samuel by his name. It was only after the Lord had Samuel's full attention that He began to share with him what was on His heart.

I have been walking with the Lord for thirty-something years now, and our relationship is real and personal. I do hear Him speaking to me and I do recognize His voice. But I believe that He is calling His people to a deeper level of intimacy - a place of quiet and rest where our spirits can more readily hear His voice. The Lord commands rest, and in today's world, with its frantic busy-ness and never-ending flow of media entertainment and information, it is more crucial than ever that we slow down and obey the command for rest. We MUST intentionally place ourselves in a place and position of rest so that we are able to hear what He wants to say. His voice is not just another constantly streaming channel that we can tune in to in order to hear what He is saying. Like Samuel, we must respond to the personal attempts by God to get our full attention before He will share His heart with us.

I don't want to miss one word that He wants to tell me. I want to hear everything. As David commanded his soul to be still and know that God is God, so will I command my soul to be quiet and listen - listen for that unmistakable voice that settles every storm in me with a mere whisper.

Come and stand here, Lord. Share Your heart with me. Reveal Yourself to me. Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.

"The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up,
and he let none of his words fall to the ground.
And all Israel from Dan to Beersheba recognized
that Samuel was attested as a prophet of the LORD.
The LORD continued to appear at Shiloh,
and there he revealed himself to Samuel through his word."
1 Samuel 3: 19-21

Attention Grabbing Title Here

Busy is as busy does. Okay, that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but I needed a catchy opening line for this not so spectacular posting.

I really just wanted to make available for your viewing pleasure a short video comprised of photos from this year's Hope Fest. Normally I would have preferred to have this done much sooner after the actual event, but as my opening line indicates, I've been quite busy and just finished the video this week.

For more details on what we did and why, as well as why the song in the video is significant, please take a minute to check out the post from June 17 entitled "You're the One."

Otherwise, I'll let the video speak for itself. Enjoy, and remember, He will leave the ninety-nine to pursue the heart of one. You, dear friend, are indeed the one.

PS: Before you start the video, don't forget to go to the music player on the left side of this page and stop or pause the song that is playing.

The song: Leaving Ninety-Nine by Audio Adrenaline

Two Funerals

It's Tuesday morning. Through the closed blinds on the living room window I can see a pink glow, evidence that a new day is already well underway. Today millions of Americans will watch as the king of pop is laid to rest in Los Angeles. They actually printed and distributed tickets to the memorial service, and rumor has it that several singers will perform for the crowds that gather in the arena to witness this spectacle. Amid the lights, cameras and fanfare, a grieving family will say their final goodbyes to their son and brother, and three young children will bury their father.

Back here in the real world where the rest of us live, I will be attending another funeral today. I didn't know Paul Padilla very well at all, but what I did know of him blessed my heart. He started coming to The River about a year ago. He had a gentle spirit and a deep love for the Lord. There was a quiet humility about him that simply reminded me of the presence of Jesus. Paul had a smile that was contagious, even though it always to me seemed to stand in front of some hidden sadness. During worship on Monday nights, I would hear his deep voice softly praying and agreeing with whatever God was doing at the moment. "Yes, Lord, yes," he would say. Afterward, on his way out, he always made a point to catch my eye, smile at me, tip his head forward slightly as a gentlemanly show of respect to a lady, and say, "Bless you, sister Rachael." Then he would be quietly on his way.

Last week Paul, only 42 years old, quietly slipped from this life into the next. The suspicion is that he died of heat stroke. I don't know anything about his past or where he came from. But I have no doubt that the nanosecond after he closed his eyes for the last time here, he opened them to see the face of Jesus and heard the words we all long to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into your rest."

Today there will be no lights and cameras, no fanfare at a little church in Barling, Arkansas. There have not been tickets sold to witness the memorial of a man who lived simply and loved God. There will be no spectacle for millions to gaze upon - just a handful of friends and family, gathered together to honor the life of a good man.

It's Tuesday morning. Through the closed blinds on the living room window I can see a pink glow, evidence that a new day is already well underway ...

Broken Things

Enjoying a rare long weekend together, David and I took Sheba out on a little "mini adventure" the other day. David had no sooner grabbed her leash than she was waiting at the door, wagging her tail and ready to go. That dog loves to ride in the car. It doesn't matter where she's going. She doesn't care. If she's in the car going somewhere, she's happy.

First stop, the dog park. For the first time, we were the only ones there, but that didn't stop our girl from heading straight for the pond for a quick little dip. Next, we went to the nature center, where the three of us meandered down one of the walking trails. Later that evening, I noticed Sheba was limping. At first I thought she had perhaps picked up a sticker or splinter or something. But closer inspection revealed something a little more serious. The pad on her right front paw was torn away in one spot. It was not a deep wound, but it was easy to see why it was tender. What was supposed to protect the flesh on her foot was no longer there.

She laid there patiently while we bandaged her up. It was like she was almost grateful to have the wound being tended to. For two days now, she has not fussed with the bandage, which is a far cry from the last time she got hurt. Last year she took a flying leap out of the back of David's truck and messed up all four of her feet. Since she wouldn't leave the bandages alone, she had to wear one of the big plastic collars that limited her movement. She did not appreciate that one bit, but it was necessary for her to let the wounds heal.

This time, though, she is leaving everything alone and letting the foot heal. By the next morning she was already walking much better, and the foot is healing nicely. I know she's "just a dog," but it's like she has learned the hard way that an unattended wound will not heal - something the rest of us would do well to remember.

Hiding from the broken places in our lives and pretending they are not there only moves us farther away from wholeness. We limp through life, trying to ignore the hurt in our heart, while it is blatantly obvious to everyone around us that we are hurting. We need the Healer to tend to our wounds.

First He cleanses the wounds, washing away all the debris that surrounds and causes infection. Next, He applies a healing ointment, a soothing balm that brings comfort. This is followed by a covering, which protects and allows the healing to begin. Many people want to stop here in the healing process. But there is another step that must be taken for the healing to be complete. When the wound is ready, the covering is removed so that air can reach it. This results in the restoration of the outer layers of skin, which provide natural protection. A scar is left, a reminder of what was, but the healing and restoration are complete.

There are things in my own heart that are in this final restorative phase of the healing process. While still unpleasant at times, I have no doubt that this is for my good, and that it is necessary if I am to walk in wholeness. Yes, the air on a not-quite-healed wound stings a little from time to time, but I can handle it. As it heals, it itches occasionally, and I want to scratch it, but this would only reopen the wound, slowing down the healing. I don't want to go there. I like it here and I like what lies in front of me.

The Healer is monitoring my progress. Broken things are being restored. Placing my heart in His hands was the first step. It can be for you, too.

"Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it;
I will heal my people and will let them enjoy
abundant peace and security."
Jeremiah 33:6

Martha Gets a Time Out

Music from the Heart: Deep In Love With You by Michael W. Smith

From my journal (today's entry):

I’ve stayed home from church today in a desperate attempt to find some quality time at the feet of Jesus. I miss Him so much. Once again I have allowed so many other “worthy” endeavors to crowd my days, my mind and my heart that there has been little room left for the One whose heart beats passionately for me.

My heart is swimming with a mix of emotions: sorrow over having caused Him even the slightest twinge of pain; an ever-deepening appreciation for His grace as I experience, yet again, His comforting embrace, holding me close as we reconnect; an overwhelming sense of His love for me – that unconditional, tender, intense love that I have come to find familiar and life-giving.

Once again, I am crumbled in tears at His feet, longing for a return to the sweet intimacy that we have shared so many times before. The Martha in me, being the strong, focused, admittedly controlling administrator, too often takes center stage, leaving Mary unobtrusively waiting in the wings.

Today, at least for this moment, I am Mary.

Mary. That is such a simple, common name for a woman who in one moment quietly made a choice that placed her at the feet of Jesus, and who without a word demonstrated worship in its purest form. Surrounded by things that needed to be done and people who wanted her to do them, Mary set her gaze on the face of Jesus. She sat down on the floor at His feet and listened to Him as He shared His heart. Worship doesn’t get any more simple and pure than that – wordless wonder as we look on His face and listen to His voice.

This is where I find myself this morning. Surrounded by the stuff of life, with a to-do-list that borders on being shamefully long, I have chosen to take these precious hours today to spend at His feet. I must. I am desperate. Like the dry summer ground is currently thirsting for rain, my soul is screaming for a deluge of His presence to come and sweep me away into an ocean of more. I’m ready to get wet.

So here I am, sitting on the living room floor, with the music of fellow psalmists and minstrels filling the room with a sweet atmosphere of worship. They sing songs of surrender and abandon, songs that tell of His grace, mercy and love, leaving me to sit and listen. Bible, pen, paper, and Kleenex are close-by.

Martha is getting a “time-out.” This is Mary’s moment.

“She (Martha) had a sister called Mary,

Who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what He said.”

Luke 10:39

10 Things I Remember About Summer as a Kid

Music from the Heart: What A Wonderful World by Kenny G & Louis Armstrong

As the lazy hazy days of summer are making their rounds once again, I admittedly find myself at work some days wishing I was anywhere else. After pondering this a little more deeply, I have decided that my daydreaming has less to do with my job (I love where I work and what I do) and more to do with a nostalgic longing for a simpler time.

With that in mind, here is another edition of my "10 Things" lists:

Ten Things I Remember About Summer as a Kid

1. The thrill of having unstructured time to do whatever we wanted.

2. Riding my bike to the library and spending half the afternoon there, reading, dreaming, and enjoying the smell.

3. Swimming lessons, culminated at the end of the second year by jumping off the high-dive in order to pass the class.

4. Spending time at my grandmother's house, without Mom and Dad, and how special & grown-up that made me feel.

5. The unforgettable sound of night critters like crickets & katydids, which seemed to be everywhere.

6. Kool-aid and bologna sandwiches.

7. Slip n' Slide and whatever other ways we could get wet with the garden hose.

8. Drinking from the garden hose without even a thought about getting sick - but letting the water cool off first, of course.

9. Playing outside from morning until dark and coming in at night wearing the smell of summer.

10. The absolute freedom of not having a care in the world.

You're The One

Music from the Heart: Leaving Ninety-Nine by Audio Adrenaline

This past weekend we (The River) hosted the second annual Hope Fest, a community missions outreach held at a local low-income apartment complex. In the final days of preparation, some of the ministry leadership began to sense that the turnout may not be what we had originally hoped for, but that the Lord was encouraging us to move forward with all the passion and vigor as though there would be 100% participation from the residents. We sensed a burden for individuals (although we had no idea which individuals) that seemed to grow heavier as the event grew closer.

As it turned out, there were fewer people there than at last year's event. In fact, at the No-Walls Worship service, there were more worship team, ministry team and volunteers on site than residents. But that's okay. In fact, it's better than okay.

One of our team members, Sarah, was supposed to leave on a family vacation prior to Hope Fest, but felt so strongly that she was supposed to stay and be a part of the Hope Fest that her family postponed their departure until the day after Hope Fest ended. A couple of weeks prior to the outreach, we were praying about KidzFest (the Saturday morning children's event), and Sarah stepped in and said she felt she was to take the Bible activity time. What she did not realize was that her obedience had a prophetic element to it and ignited something in the spirit that would permeate the entire event.

Sarah's theme for the Bible activity with the kids was the love of the Shepherd for His sheep, and how He would leave the ninety-nine to go after a single lost lamb. She did a beautiful job of illustrating this and bringing it into real-life application for the kids, even donning a shepherd's costume as she told her story.

Hope Fest ended, and I called Wendy (pastor of The River) while I was on my way home Saturday night. I shared with her what was on my heart - that if one person was eternally affected by what took place over the weekend, it was all worth it.

"It's kinda like Sara's message with the kids," I said. "He will leave the ninety-nine to go after the one." Wendy's reply: "Well, he went after the one."

She began to share with me what had taken place that night with a young man, a self-proclaimed atheist, who had been brought by his girlfriend. Throughout the evening, it was obvious the Lord was working on him, and while he has not yet given his life to the Lord, we believe it is only a matter of time. By the end of the evening he was obviously enjoying himself and was almost engaged in the worship. The Shepherd has His eye on that one.

The testimonies are beginning to trickle in of several "ones" that the Holy Spirit latched onto this past weekend. More details on those later, as we are still compiling them.

Until then, here's the thing. You are the one. You are the one He will leave the ninety-nine to come chasing after out of a deep and passionate love for you and the insatiable desire to see you where you belong - with Him. You are the apple of His eye, the love of His life. You are His favorite.

No matter what today brings, remember this: The Good Shepherd Himself watches over you day and night. You are what He is all about. This assurance brings with it great hope, great peace, and great purpose.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
He will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Psalm 121: 5-8

Chocolate or Vanilla?

Music from the Heart: Every Move I Make by Passion Worship Band

It's a little after three AM, and I was awakened by a dream a little while ago. Actually, I woke up almost singing.

I lead worship for an outreach church called The River Fort Smith. The River is a sister church of City Christian Fellowship, which we sometimes refer to as the "mother ship." I played with the CCF worship team for a while before my hand was seriously injured in a rollover accident in May of 2006. It was nearly a year before I was able to play again, and several more months before I was able to play for any length of time. Since then, the Lord brought other keyboard players into the mix, and I was free to fully pursue my true passion: providing a meaningful worship experience for the precious people of The River.

In my dream this morning, I was at a rehearsal of the CCF worship team, sitting near the keyboard player, observing. I had the opportunity to sing with the background vocalists if I wanted to. I was sitting there pondering whether or not I wanted to sing with the group or just enjoy the worship service from the congregation. The reasons for and against singing with the team that morning kept rolling over in my head, and I woke up before I made a decision. I woke up singing, "Every Move I Make."

I believe that what the Lord was showing me was that sometimes we are faced with choices that we struggle with in our desire to find the perfect will of God. In our effort to step only into that perfect will, we hesitate to make any move at all for fear of it being the wrong one, so we do nothing.

Granted, there are some decisions we must make when a clear direction one way or the other is necessary and we must seek His will and be obedient. But other times we are faced with options that are equally good and beneficial, and we will be blessed in whichever one we choose.

When we are walking in true freedom and in close relationship with Him, we are sensitive to His voice and leading. We KNOW when He is pulling us back, saying, "No, don't go there." We can also know that sometimes He says, "Here, you can choose either of these, and whichever you want is fine with Me." It's like being asked, "Which kind of ice cream do you want - chocolate or vanilla?"

Legalism binds. Relationship brings freedom. Jesus showed us the difference in John 15:15 when he said, "I no longer call you servants ... instead, I have called you friends." In the same chapter, He instructed us to abide in Him. When we are in Him, we can know true freedom because we know where the boundaries are. It's like children on a fenced-in playground, free to run anywhere inside the fence. They can choose to play on the monkeybars or the swings or the merry-go-round.

The encouragement here is this: don't take life so seriously that you over-spiritualize every little aspect of it and miss out on the pure joy of just being in relationship with Him. Take your relationship with Him seriously and don't trivialize it; but enjoy the freedom to run and play and dance and be His child. It's His heart for you. Something to ponder until next time ...

"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17

Hope of Restoration

It's been a couple of weeks since I last posted. Many times I have sat down to start, but something else always seems to take precedence. Not today.

My heart today is filled with many things: peace in the face of uncertainty, thankfulness for the goodness of the Lord in providing for every need, and an ever-deepening love and admiration for my husband.

But underneath these wonderful things lies an ache that I cannot soothe. It is the dull pain of a vision that has not yet been fulfilled, a destiny not yet realized. Its roots are planted deep in the soil of a hope that has seen and tasted the goodness of the God of restoration who has given us, His Bride, the ministry of reconciliation. The deepest desire of His heart is to reconcile His most glorious creation, you, to an intimate relationship with Him.

You find yourself today at a place where your heart longs for something more than what you have yet experienced in your life. You may have tried to feed that longing with empty relationships, addictive drugs or alcohol, secret activities that now control you, career ambitions or maybe even church, ministry and family activities. Maybe you simply struggle day in and day out just to maintain, living paycheck to paycheck, never knowing true rest, desperate for something that you can't even put a name to. You are weary.

This message is for you.

Your mourning is about to be turned to dancing, your weeping into laughing, and your sorrow into joy as the God of restoration Himself infuses your situation with His presence. In the overwhelming cloud of His presence, that thing you are facing that has consumed your vision WILL NOT BE ABLE TO STAND. It WILL fall! Your time is NOW! Embrace it. Your destiny hangs heavy over you and the pending birth will launch you into kingdom-shaking authority as the Lord breathes His life into your passion - the same life-giving breath He blew into the lungs of Adam. It's yours - right here, right now.

Now is the time to be reconciled to Him. Today is the day for hope to be rekindled in your heart. Let the restoration begin.

Father God, as we submit to Your magnificent plan,
saturate us in Your presence again and again and again.
Here in this place of intimacy with You
we have found our healing, our rest, our peace, and our purpose.
Gloriously wash over over us even now
with healing and restoring waters
that burst forth from Your throne.
Immerse us in You. So let it be.
Amen.

He Restores My Soul

“He restores my soul.” Close your eyes, take in a slow, deep breath and as you release it, let these four simple words sink deeply into your spirit. “He restores my soul.”

My soul is the deepest part of me, that inner sanctuary where no one else will ever be able to accompany me; no one, of course, except for the One who fashioned me in my mother’s womb and Who breathed my eternal destiny into my spirit before I ever drew my first breath.

In these precious moments when I am alone with Him, the tears come easily as I let down my defenses and lay aside every tool and weapon with which I have fought today’s battles. I lean into His chest and allow Him to hold me as I begin to weep tears of relief, letting go of anything and everything that has held me captive in a prison of my own design.

This is my safe place. This is where the chains fall away and my rest becomes deeper with each breath that enters and departs my weary self.

He restores my soul. He returns the deepest part of me to its original state, reestablishing His purposes and bringing back divine order. Here, in this place of closeness with my Shepherd, my spirit is at rest. My heart is at peace. My soul is restored.

Jesus said that He is the Good Shepherd and that His sheep know His voice. As I linger here in this place, quietly listening to Him whisper of His love for me, the voice I hear is the same voice that spoke my destiny into existence while I was still being woven together in the secret place. The voice is familiar, comforting and strong.

When my soul is restored, everything changes. Peace returns. Joy is refreshed. Hope is renewed. Destiny receives a breath of fresh air, shedding the staleness that seems to creep in over time as dreams wait for their moment to rise up and be fulfilled.

He restores your soul. Today is your day for restoration. Right now is your moment to receive the rest that He has for you. Here is where your striving ceases. Here is where your hope is renewed and your peace returns. Here is where you fall into His arms as He whispers His love to you.

Then this city will bring me renown, joy,
praise and honor before all nations on earth
that hear of all the good things I do for it;
and they will be in awe and will tremble
at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for it.'
Jeremiah 33:9

Divine Distraction

Music from the Heart: Restoration by David Brymer

You know that feeling you get when something you have been really anxious about for a long time is suddenly and unexpectedly resolved? That sense of relief that is so powerful that it almost takes your breath away and brings you to tears? It is immediately followed by an overwhelming sense of peace as you hear a voice deep down inside you gently whisper, "It's all going to be okay."

That's the feeling I got Tuesday afternoon - and for no apparent reason.

It was about 4:30 in the afternoon, and my work day was almost over. I was sitting at my desk, deeply engrossed in something so important that I can't even remember now what it was. Anyway, it was as if Someone tapped me on the shoulder and pulled my attention away from what I was doing, so strong was this sense of release and peace that came over me.

I had no idea what it was all about, and I still don't know for sure. But I have chosen the path of not questioning why, opting rather to simply rest in this crazy peace that has come once again and wrapped itself around me like a warm blanket.

There are things my spirit has been wrestling with for quite some time, and I can only hope that this sense of release is a foretaste of a pending breakthrough. I felt a physical response to this sense relief that came over me that day - a lifting of a burden, a somewhat lighter feeling.

The last few days, this peace has continued. Each day since, what has kept repeating over and over inside me is the song "Restoration, " specifically the tag at the end of the song, which simply says,

"Hallelujah, hallelujah,
You make all things new, You make all things new
Hallelujah, hallelujah,
You make all things new."

So, dear friend, on this late spring day, in the swirl of graduations & weddings, farewells and new beginnings, my wish for you is simply this:

May the peace that passes understanding overtake you in a moment when you least expect it. May you encounter divine distractions that snatch your awareness away from whatever you are doing and lands it squarely into the face of the Lover of your soul. Amen. So let it be.

The God of peace be with you all.
Amen.
Romans 15:33

Life on the Edge

Music from the Heart: How He Loves Us by Kim Walker

Surrender and Trust. They stand together facing me, hand in hand. Each extends the remaining hand to me, inviting me to join them in a circle of three. Their intent is to lead me to the edge of my comfort zone and coax me to jump out into the vast abyss of possibility that is my destiny.

I have been here before, with these same two companions. Each leap takes me to a deeper level of awareness of His presence and His plan for my life. Why, then, do I even hesitate when I find myself facing this decision again? Why haven't I already jumped?

For me, it is a question of will. Whose will am I truly committed to - mine or His?

Yesterday, as our pastor was closing his message on the Lord's Prayer, he offered the following interpretation of the phrase, "Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven":

"May I have no will of my own. May Your will be all that I seek."

In my heart, at this moment, this is a matter of surrendering even my deepest desires and most extravagant dreams back to the One who placed them in my heart. This is not as easy as it sounds, but I must keep reminding myself that to give them back over to Him does not mean giving up on the dream. It means giving up on being in control of the dream.

I choose to follow the example of our spiritual father, Abraham, as he accompanied his son, Isaac, up the mountain. He was fully prepared to put the boy to death in obedience to the Lord, but he also was equally prepared for a substitute sacrifice to be provided. I choose to lay my dreams down at His feet, and I have the same assurance that what the Lord returns to me will be His good, pleasing and perfect will for me.

Ultimately, it is the knowledge and experience of His amazing, unimaginable, crazy love for me that enables me to relinquish even those things most precious to me back to Him.

Surrender and Trust are becoming closer friends to me, and I find myself leaning on them for strength. Together we are moving closer to the edge ...

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more
than all we ask or imagine, according to his power
that is at work within us...

Ephesians 3:20

Smoke on the Mountain

Music from the Heart: Glory Come Down by Jason Upton

There are many things I could write about tonight, but only one thing is prevalent in my spirit at this late hour. The warfare in the heavenlies is intensifying.

I have experienced this myself over the past few days, and I am reading about it from others around the country who are also seeing an increase in spiritual activity, specifically where it pertains to God's people being released into their destinies, and more specifically when that destiny includes some form of ministry to hurting people.

I had a dream last week where I was praying for a woman I did not know, and as I opened my mouth, I began to speak into the pain of her past, naming specific things that had wounded her and caused her to question her position in Christ, among other things. As I spoke, she began to weep, leaning into me with her head down as she surrendered to what the Lord was initiating for her release and freedom.

Over the past two days, I have encountered a level of warfare I have not seen in quite some time, and it involves some things the Lord is showing me about a woman I know of, but do not know personally (not the same one from the dream). The details are not relevant in this posting, and I'm not completely sure why I feel compelled to share this in this arena. But here is what I believe:

Someone will read this who has been experiencing an increased level of some combination of spiritual warfare and/or prophetic insight into people and situations around you. This has come after you have prayed for more of the Lord's presence in your life, and you are not sure what to do with what you are beginning to see and sense. You may even be a little frightened by it. You have hesitated to share this with anyone, because you aren't sure how it will be received or if it will be understood by those close to you.

Let me tell right here and right now that you are not alone. Be encouraged that what you are seeing and sensing will happen and is happening even now. As God has been strategically positioning His people for the activity that is coming, He is also calling us to a deeper level of awareness of His presence and a greater sensitivity to His ways. His presence can appear frightening to those who are not prepared to see Him.

When God told Moses to have the people consecrate themselves in preparation for coming up the mountain to meet with Him, He wanted all of Israel to participate. Instead, the people were frightened by the smoke and the clouds that accompanied His presence on the mountain, and they shrank back, sending Moses up alone to meet with God.

Let us not be like the children of Israel in this hour as God is again calling us up the mountain, His holy hill, to meet with Him. Let our hearts be like that of Moses, who boldly but humbly approached God's manifest presence with a tenacious fervor.

God is speaking, and we must be still and quiet enough to hear His voice and ready to obey. Like the children of Israel who were led through the wilderness by a cloud and a pillar of fire, we must move when He moves and stay when and where He stays. When it's time to move, we must be unhindered by things that hold no eternal significance. When it's time to stay, we must remain with Him, not eager to rush ahead and make our own way.

In other words, we are to live simply, listen closely, love Him deeply, and obey completely. This is essential if we are to embrace and fulfill the destiny for which we have been created.

And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name." Then Moses said, "Now show me Your glory."
Exodus 33:17-18

Morning Desire

Music from the Heart: Draw Me Lord by Selah

Closeness. It is a state of being near to something or someone. The closeness that beckons me this morning is not a geographic position, but a nearness to Someone who I can't seem to get close enough to.

There is a longing in me that will not be quieted - a desire so deep that it permeates every cell in me, making my heart ache for more. Will I ever be able to get enough of Him? My spirit screams out a resounding, "Never!"

I want to crawl up into His lap and lay my head on His chest, and be lulled to sleep by the beating of His heart - to feel His arms securely and gently wrapped around me, holding me close. I want to feel His breath on my ear as He whispers His love to me, telling me of dreams and plans He has for me. I want to feel the moistness of His kiss on my cheek and see the light in His eyes as He gazes on me, His girl.

In these quiet early morning hours, when sleep has slipped away and the first light of dawn is still just a dream, my heart is yearning for Him with such a fierce passion that it takes my breath away. My heart is gripped with an almost painful longing to see the face of the One who knew me intimately before I drew my first breath.

The anticipation of time alone with Him is almost more than I can bear. What precious words will He share with me today? What wisdom will He impart? What new mercy will He bestow on me?

Here He comes. I hear Him calling my name. I must go and meet with Him in our secret place. This is our time.

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

Psalm 27:4

I Surrender All

Music from the Heart: I Surrender All by Michael W. Smith

I mentioned in a prior post that I am a confessed and recovering control freak. When I mentioned this earlier in the week to a close friend, her reply was "Recovering?" She was, of course, questioning this part of my statement. She knows me well enough to know that "recovering" might be a bit of a stretch. I quickly defended myself by stating the obvious: "Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery."

Okay, so I may have not gotten far past this first step yet, but actually admitting this is a very big deal. All you fellow control freaks, (step out of your denial for a moment), you are smiling right now and nodding, as you know this to be true. Confessing that you have a hard time letting go of control is not easy. Since most of us are also perfectionists, admitting this problem forces us to also acknowledge that we have fallen short of some standard, no matter how unrealistic or self-imposed it is.

This week, once again, I have been brought to a place of self-examination by the lyrics to an old, familiar hymn. The song is I Surrender All. In digging into the simple but profound concept of total surrender, it is not necessary to look any further than the first verse:

All to Jesus, I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence daily live.

As I was preparing this song to include in this morning's worship set, I began to examine my own heart in light of these familiar words. I had to ask myself, "How much of me have I withheld from complete and total surrender to Him? How much of my time, my abilities, my goals, my dreams, my affection and allegiance - have I really come to a place of total surrender? Have I let go?"

The honest answer is, "No." The rest of the answer is, "But I am learning to." Even this morning, as I filled in as a guest worship leader with a band that I have never played with before, I had to let go of the control and not be consumed with how things sounded and whether or not I was adequately prepared. And when I did, the Lord came. He came, and in His presence, I was free and comfortable.

So here is your challenge, Dear Reader. Examine your heart for those areas where you need to release the control to the One who knows you best and loves you most. Choose to let go, and bask in the freedom that follows.

This is not a matter of convenience or comfort or enhancing our relationship with Jesus. This is a matter of survival. One look at the evening news and it is obvious that we are in a day when man's "wisdom" and puffed up strategies on how to "fix" our country's and the world's problems are being exposed as miserable failures day in and day out. OUR ONLY HOPE is complete and utter surrender into the hands of our God. HE will cover and protect His children. HE will provide for every need. HE will defend the widow and the orphan. HE will lead us beside still waters and cause us to rest under the shadow of His wing.

Whatever you are carrying that is weighing you down, that thing that keeps you awake at night, that consumes your thoughts day in and day out - let it go. Give up the control. Let Him take it. His shoulders are big enough to carry it. Surrender - and walk freely into your destiny!